A steady diet of nothing, part two.

Please forgive me, as I used this title a couple of years ago, but upon finding the above image (which, by the way, if that was brought to me in a restaurant, I would start a riot), and coupled with the short pile of fodder we have to sort through, it only seemed appropriate to dust it off.

Firstly, and this is an extraordinarily important bit of news, from this very minute there are 166 days until W.S.A.T.U. Day, 2013;

Are you ready?

I’m pretty sure I am.

Now that I’ve done my time in the battlefield for the first two in the Golden State, for round one;

Photo by Jon Suzuki
and round two;

I’m considering taking the show on the road and seeing how other people handle their business. Like, perhaps to drop a selection of city’s names into a hat, pull one out and allow the residents to play host, as we slowly kill ourselves together.

Or I’ll just fly to Seattle.

Or perhaps to Portland East to see what this guy’s doing;

Photo courtesy of Hurl.

When I fist saw that I could only thing “Travis who?”

Personally, I would pay good money to see these three go head to head again. I’m sure Duane would as well.

From DPow! of Maximo Supremo residents Minneapolis West Design Works, I got this short slice of soul that’s 98% guaranteed to make a sucking day slightly less so;

Though I’m pretty sure Don momentarily lost hs mind when he said “-four of the hottest young men in the business, and by hot I mean they’re really doing it, and doing it out of sight.

I’m not hip on the crazy vernacular of youth, but I’m reasonably sure that was just a bunch of mumbo jumbo strung together in a fit of drunkenness.

And speaking of which, back in October ace photographer Cory Keizer (Soze) sent me this little ditty, which is an image for the ages;

Alas, membership was to be the only bright spot in my time spent living in Marietta, Georgia, but it was simply not to be.

Finally, in closing I’d like to share a thoughtful correspondence that I recieved a few weeks ago regarding this most recent run of the AHTBM Smokey and The Bandit replica woolies;


Got the Bandit jersey. Badass. Even nicer than I imagined. I don’t know the story of how they came about, but the first time I saw one, I wanted it. Bad. I usually don’t want stuff–just don’t see that much that resonates–but the
Bandit jersey was different. Thought I’d tell you why.

My Daddy was a truck driver (yes, I’m a Southerner). Back in the mid-70s, prior to Smokey and the Bandit, he used to haul freight to Texas. He drove a cabover Kenworth K100 with a V8 Cummins in it. Not as nice Jerry Reed’s W900 KW, but a pretty damn nice truck.

Daddy used to haul Coors back from Texas. He knew a place where the guy would sell him ten cases and give him the eleventh case. Not a bad deal. After a trip, I’d hear him downshifting his truck to back into our driveway in Charlotte, and I’d run out to meet him. I was eight. He’d get out of the truck, worn out from driving all night, give me a hug, and go take a shower.

An hour or two later, his buddies would start showing up at the house to claim their beer. They’d open some of those cool, squatty Coors bottle and stand around the truck, talking about how damn good the beer tasted. I’d hang out by the truck, too, a little man among men. Every once in a while, Daddy would offer me a swig of his beer.
Awesome stuff. We still laugh about those days.

Once Coors moved east, they quit drinking it.

Anyway, I was talking with my wife on the way to work the other morning, and I mentioned for the fiftieth time how damn cool I thought my Bandit jersey was. Then I said something like “I wonder why?” My wife said, “I know why. It brings together your past and your present.” She’s right. I’m an English professor and cyclist who prefers bikes, books, smoked meat (especially deer and pork), bonfires, bourbon, and beer with my buddies to just about anything else. I don’t care if I ever have a nice car as long as I’ve got nice bikes. But I grew up with trucks and fast cars (Daddy’s) and beer, and somehow that Bandit jersey has captured that magic for me. Thanks.


I know I’ve expounded about the grief involved in doing these two runs of that jersey (every step of the way was a monumental pain in the ass), but to receive an email like this (and at the risk of sounding flippant), it truly makes every bit of hassle and headache absolutely worth the trouble;

I’m touched by Tanker’s words and am honored that he chose to share them with me, and in turn allowed me to share them with the eight to ten readers.

I make no bones about it- what we have here on a regular basis really is a steady diet of nothing, but every now and again, whether we like it or not, we accidentally supplement it with something of substance.

And I’d take that over a pinner bite of gourmet fare any day.

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Leave a Reply

22 Responses to “A steady diet of nothing, part two.”

  1. Benitosbro January 7, 2013 at 6:14 am #

    I don’t have an awesome city to crash in currently, but there is always a fresh couch saved for you and as much beer as you can consume and tape together for W.S.A.T.U.

  2. veloshitstorm January 7, 2013 at 6:21 am #

    Yea! Life is back to normal. I hate 3 day work weeks.

  3. Fisher January 7, 2013 at 6:44 am #

    Big ones to Tanker for making me want to hug my dad on a Monday morning. Good one.

  4. Case January 7, 2013 at 7:06 am #

    Come to Minn-West and try to break my other ankle.

  5. Trailer Park Cyclist January 7, 2013 at 7:23 am #

    So it took those little devils a year and a half to decide you weren’t good enough to go to Hell and send you back your check? Man! There really IS a thin line between love and hate.


  6. Pistil Pete January 7, 2013 at 7:55 am #

    I always suspected the Devil was from New York….

  7. Mister January 7, 2013 at 8:01 am #

    Is there anyone I can shiv to get one of them jerseys? Perferably someone who wears a large. I didn’t find your page till i was too late to order. But by god I woulda.

    • Stevil January 7, 2013 at 8:05 am #

      I have two additional XLs, but I’m afraid that’s all I have left.

      • 4000psi January 7, 2013 at 11:36 am #

        How much for the XL jersey? I’ve been kicking myself for not getting one.

        • Stevil January 7, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

          160 bones. About half of my annual income.

          • sinnfein January 7, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

            I was at the One on One about two weeks ago and saw two or three hanging on their wall (didn’t check sizes) – you might call there to check.

  8. ulysses ronquillo January 7, 2013 at 8:20 am #

    Have you considered putting together a J.J. McClure “Cannonball Run” jersey?

    Ignore the website, just look at the pic and think about it.

  9. Tman January 7, 2013 at 8:25 am #

    Pretty sure i was still on the course about 400 people back from Geno, those guys in front were FAST.

  10. Velorambling January 7, 2013 at 9:06 am #

    Can we recreate that opening dance sequence/ performance art piece from the Persuaders in Louisville?

  11. pedalman January 7, 2013 at 9:16 am #

    I once saw Travis Brown finish a race on just his rear rim. Not only that but he was flying and really ripped the last few switchbacks. I remember thinking,if you took off both his tires I could maybe take him.

    • Stevil January 7, 2013 at 11:33 am #

      Yeah, he’s spanked the absolute crap out of me as well. I just like that Gene stuck it to him.

  12. hellbelly January 7, 2013 at 9:23 am #

    Tank’s story is right on. I received mine Bandit jersey in all of it’s awesomeness as well. The only downside to it is that everyone comments on it and/or wants to give me a high five, thus it is not my first choice if I wish to be incognito.

  13. curtis January 7, 2013 at 12:56 pm #

    June will be the one year anniversary of our monthly Nisene camping trip. It’s kind of disturbing to think I’ve probably drank more Buds in that park than you have at this point.

  14. Nived January 7, 2013 at 5:29 pm #

    GeneO In on the Kill Taker,,

  15. Jersey representin' January 8, 2013 at 10:59 am #

    Thanks tanker for the email. I apparently was one of the first recipients of the 2nd run of jerseys. I know that my younger brother and I used to pretend we were the bandit and the snowman on the rideable tonka trucks and a big wheel or bikecycle all the time. Without the funds to buy a 78 screaming chicken, this was next best thing. I haven’t had the time for a bike ride to wear it yet, but I hope bike and house are ready come early spring

  16. Chad January 9, 2013 at 7:27 pm #

    WSATU 2013 should be in Santa Cruz. That way you can change it to wherever you want about a week before.