Are you picking up what I’m laying down?

I knew you could.

Good morning and unless you work in retail, welcome to this week’s end. It’s a lovely place to be for most folks, because after having the whirlwind of days off last week, it gives us all (nearly) more opportunity to explore the insides of our bathrobes, which personally, is one of my favorite places to be.

And speaking of comfy zones, you might recall my many mentions of the Poler Hangover Sack, (actually Googling ‘Hangover Sack’ yielded the Poler link immediately), in which I took a Brian Veror inspired shot a couple years ago;

-Finding myself at a loss as to what to present DeMonika for a holiday gift, one rainy afternoon I stumbled into a store called something like ‘Forever Comfy‘ or ‘Bullet Train To Cozyville‘ or something, and found what she ultimately declared to be ‘a hangover sack of the ladies‘ (being modeled here by TB);

I can attest to its power as within five minutes of trying it on myself, I was a snoring, drooling pile of meat.

Now that’s what I call product endorsement.

Granted, it doesn’t hold up to its Poler namesake in as far as spending time in a bar wearing it (which I’ve done), or riding a skateboard in one (which I’ve done) or simultaneously barfing and peeing on it (which I’ve done, but not while in a bar, or riding a skateboard) but for straight up lounging, cursing your previous night’s self, and wishing for a quick end to your misery, it absolutely cannot be beat.

And while we’re on the topic of things which may or may not make your life easier, a fellow named Toren got in touch with me regarding a doo-dad he is fiercely in the process of making a reality;

I received your name from Matt Case at Cyclone. My name is Tory Orzeck and I’m an industrial designer in Portland Oregon.
My day job is running a boutique [read: small] design firm called FUSE, but I just launched a project on Kickstarter.

Orp is a combination dual decibel bike horn and front beacon light all in a super small, USB rechargeable, weather proof package;

The project was launched after a few horrific right hook cyclist vs. truck accidents here in Portland. We researched, brainstormed, ideated and prototyped. The result is Orp. It’s aim is to make bikers just not more visible, but more “hearable”.

Matt said you may be interested or you may think it’s a piece of shit. I’m hoping it’s not the latter.

I may be wrong, but I’m thinking you may appreciate some of Orp’s fine details.


The things I think are a piece of shit are very rarely brain children of people who are simply concerned with helping keep bikecyclists safe and visible, I guess with the exception of ‘high-vis’ articles of clothing.

Then again, I don’t think they are unworthy or even worse, low quality, I just think they’re ugly.

Anyway, I happen to be intrigued with what Toren has proposed and I wish him well in seeing this project become a reality.

In other news, Zachary sent me a note which made me feel good about some of my past decisions;

Me: Sitting outside a gas station in central Florida, drinking a coke, wearing ahtbm socks on a road ride.

Toothless guy to his friend going in points at my socks: “See, this one ain’t a queer, he likes Budweiser.

Nine out of ten toothless guys agree, the AHTBM socks ‘ain’t queer’;

And I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve knocked the price down on what I have left in stock to 1) try to make some quick cash before quarterly taxes are due and 2), to make room for a brand new run of black and wool and awesome new AHTBM socks which are set to arrive any day now.

So please, help me make some room for the new run and get the last bunch of Blackweiser socks off my hands (so to speak). They are almost guaranteed to eventually become a collector’s item, or at the very least get a thumbs up from toothless guys.

And now this last little bit will stray even further from tennis balls, and towards bikes with the following;

You might recall the Swobo Divine debuting at this past fall’s Interbikecycle Extravaganza, and it was at that time when Swobo super honch, El Corpo Nuevo asked if I would at some point like to borrow one for a spell. I said yes, and then put it out of my head, as I so often do with everything.

Well, while flouncing through the Bay Area recently, Pete (what his mother calls him) dropped off one of their Uhmerikan made Divines for me to have my way with;

And have my way with it I did. At least as much as one can in a week’s time.

Most recently I took the big balooniness out for a dirt spin and was had more fun than should be allowed. Wet grass+fixed gear+fat slicks=instant smiles.

I realize that according to the box office smash hit ‘Premium Rush‘ that “brakes are death“, but should they cause me to crash into a pile of garbage, I will miraculously tear them off and dispose of them, leaving me and my future as a lawyer, or stock broker, or advertising executive, or whatever, safe in my sights.

*Spoiler alert* Premium Rush was horrible.

Finally, it’s with a heavy heart that I mention the death of South African wunderkind, Burry Stander;

Image nicked from here,
This sucks so much. I didn’t know him, nor had I ever crossed paths with him, but I’ve watched his career grow and I’ve been impressed with his skill on the bike as well as his apparent general decency off the bike.

It seems as though he was one of the good guys and the bicycle world, as well as the world in general will be a little less rad without him. To his friends and family I offer my most sincere condolences.

It’s with that, that I’ve come to the conclusion of ‘laying it down’, and now instead, will just simply lay down.

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10 Responses to “Are you picking up what I’m laying down?”

  1. One Eyed z January 4, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    The Hangover Sack was on my Xmess wish list and still is. Looks like if I want one I’m just gonna have to buck up and buy it myself. Its cold in KC and not much warmer in my house. I could put it to good use.
    That Swobo sure is purtty.

  2. Chuck January 4, 2013 at 9:13 am #

    What, no Paul cranks to go with all the other Paul goodies on that bike 🙂

    • Stevil January 4, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

      They were on the show bike, and can certainly be spec’d with them, but my loaner obviously came without, which is probably for the best. My fingers they are sticky.

  3. Swobo January 4, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

    Stevil is right: on the high end finished offering, all PAUL. Available this Spring as frame or choice of build kit.

  4. Nived January 4, 2013 at 6:01 pm #

    Saddened to see a good man go down..

  5. jud January 4, 2013 at 6:37 pm #

    I agree that premium rush sucked as and action/adventure movie, but a comedy it was awesome. Granted I understood the references and took them as inside jokes between me and the hipster weenies who take themselves way to seriously … and I brought alcoholic beverages … in a dollar theater.

  6. nowheels January 4, 2013 at 10:55 pm #

    I recall that clip of Burry Stander flipping down a rock section, landing on his head, jumping back up and getting back on his way — tenacious.

  7. Shari's January 4, 2013 at 11:44 pm #

    ” I don’t think they are unworthy or even worse, low quality, I just think they’re ugly.” Said the guy in the orange onesie.

  8. Paul January 5, 2013 at 5:03 am #

    I was just reading your latest with the intention of writing to you (as we say down here in South Africa) about Burry Stander’s death. What you may not know, and what for obvious reasons hasn’t made it into much of the press about this sad event, is that Burry won last year’s SSWC here. He was dressed in some sort way like this: , which is a fine way to win that sort of mess. For those who want to know more, here’s a link to an article in a local rag:
    Spoiler alert: he was 86’ed by a motorist who now faces culpable homicide charges.


  9. Doxrides January 14, 2013 at 5:32 pm #

    ” culpable homicide” ?!! Good to see some parts of the world have a justice system. In the US the driver would have maybe gotten a simple traffic violation.