Rhymes with ‘footbags’.

I made mention of the following items elsewhere on the intertubes earlier in the week, but since this is my main form of amplification, and I pay like, 20 dollars a year to Cobra Commander to host it, I might as well get my dollars’ worth and spill the beans here as well.

The above image is the remaining stock of small/medium AHTBM brand Blackweiser socks, and I’m blowing them out at just ten dollars a pair. This means after shipping, shipping supplies, and general (mis)handling, I’m bringing home about a dollar’s worth of bacon.

I don’t really care about that however, as my main concern is just getting the box emptied in order to make room for my latest addition to the line of merchandise, the new tall, black and wool ‘Mr. Blacksocks’ sock, or ‘T.B.W.Mr.B.S.S.’ for short;

At first I thought having a kit was the be-all, end-all of establishing AHTBM as a web-loggage force to be reckoned with. Then it occurred to me that having a second kit solidified it in the annals of web-loggingness. After that is was the completion of the Smokey and The Bandit replica jersey. Soon after, I was sure it was having a third kit in the works.

But now, after the sun has set on all of those projects, I realize, all I ever needed to secure my place in legitimacy was wool socks.

If by chance you’d like to get in on some of these, I have both small/medium and large/XL available for your wearing pleasures.

And should you care about the inspiration for the name, it came from this fellow, who’s held the moniker for as long as I’ve known him;

I’m not entirely sure when the nickname came about, but I remember first reading it in an article Ferrentino wrote about a 24 hour race they did together in Utah sometime in the mid 90s.

Why, the attentitive among us might even recognize the moniker from the list of sponsors of that race we organized;

Sometimes nicknames stick, and sometimes they don’t. I’m thankful for the sake of my latest addition of merch that his did. So if you want to get in on a small slice of history, you know what to do.

In news generally unrelated to anything having to do with socks aside from an occasional unpleasant odor, Sally from Raleigh Bicycle Company made contact with a project that he has got brewing which might be of interest to the cyclocross styled bicycling sorts in our midst;

In my never ending quest to impress you and gain your undying love… I’m looking for new ideas on how to Ruin The Fun For Everyone©™® at future CX races my company may be hosting. The premise is simple… Submit an idea for a new course obstacle… If I like it better than the others… The lucky person gets to join Craig “Hot Laps” Etheridge and myself in Louisville to show Sven we don’t treat beer as a toy, and how rednecks Heckle;

I then hope to use these new ideas at future Raleigh sponsored events… Or maybe during W.S.A.T.U. Where ever it feels more appropriate.


In that link I see that he neglected to put quote around the word ‘lucky’.

So anyway, if you have an idea for a wiz-banging idea for a course obstacle, submit your inspiration and maybe we’ll see you in (or getting thrown out of ) Worlds in Louisville.

And of course I can’t neglect to make note of his mention of W.S.A.T.U. We have a tentatively devised plan for spring time to throw host city’s names into a hat and pick one ‘lucky’ winner (see how that works?) to host the two of us in their burgh for the fateful holiday, and stand arm in arm with us as we all drink until we’re good looking.

Which in my case is at least an eighteen pack.

That said however, there is no amount of beer on the planet that would make the following clip that Rick forwarded to me, not absolutely excruciating;

I’m sorry to do that to you, but I hate to suffer alone.

As long as we’re on the topic of beer and/or mind altering poetry, Ben (formerly of OneOnOne Bicycle Studio, and currently of Swobo Bicycle Studio) sent me a sample of his inspired prose;

So Lisa won the Foco bike to work challenge over the summer and one of the things she got was a set of bicycle magnetic poetry.

Not necessarily a big fan, too much “carbon, draft, peloton, spin, etc” but what the hell. Anyway, after having that stuff on the fridge for a few months I’ve decided that there’s not much that can be done with it.

As of now, I’ve really only come up with one good one, and it reminded me of you.

I’m touched by this, and would like to go on record by saying the only time I ever wear new beer is just after it’s spit on me;

Photo courtesy of Skotty Pawz.
I might wear old beer more often than is reasonable, and as such, smell like the underside of a hobo, but at least my socks look nice, and that doesn’t ever not suck.

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15 Responses to “Rhymes with ‘footbags’.”

  1. MMinSC January 11, 2013 at 6:52 am #

    I don’t care who that dude is, but he needs to know one thing…

    Ride thru my ‘hood on that Max-tubed Telekom Merckx, and he’s gettin’ rolled…PERIOD!

    • Stevil January 11, 2013 at 6:58 am #

      That’s not very nice.

      • Fisher January 11, 2013 at 8:12 am #

        Wish that dude rode through my neighborhood more often, whatev bike.

    • hurltron 5000 January 11, 2013 at 8:57 am #

      Doubt it. To paraphrase, “If you don’t know who Mr. Blacksocks is, then keep your expertise to yourself.”

  2. Crank January 11, 2013 at 7:01 am #

    Whats the first rule of the Church of Old McDonald? We don’t sing about it. And thanks should only be given for dank beer, not chitlins.

  3. pedalman January 11, 2013 at 7:07 am #

    Hello All Hail the Black Market, as I was sitting here pondering todays post I put a pen to paper and wrote down some words. Can I share them with you? Nevermind cause I’m going to anyway,
    “There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold and she’s buying a stairway to heaven”

  4. John January 11, 2013 at 7:09 am #

    The ideal obstacle would take inspiration from biathlon. You’re out of breath and your heart is pounding as you leap off the bike and now you need to calm down and do something that requires calm concentration and a steady hand. I’m thinking something like having to hit a hole-in-one past one of those spinning mini-golf windmills. Task complete you can hop back on the bike and finish the lap.

  5. JoshRVA January 11, 2013 at 8:57 am #

    Those are some fetching socks alright.

  6. Dirty Cyclist January 11, 2013 at 11:56 am #

    “Just let me put a little more rancid Budweiser on my beard right now, baby And you can show me how a young girl such as you Might be thrilled and overwhelmed by me” Zappa song

  7. curtis January 11, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

    Mr. Blacksocks has impeccable taste in bikes and roads. I am surprised that I’ve only seen him once or twice, considering the fact that we seem to share the same stomping grounds.

    Oh, and those socks are teh fcking sex. I needs them to match my black flap cap and backpack.

  8. SteveP January 11, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

    As I recall, the first time I ever heard of the illustrous Mr. Blacksocks was when he took over the MTB column in the back of California Cyclist from Ferrentino after Mike left for Bike. Proir to his revealing himself upon those fine pages, his mysterious upbringing can only be conjectured.

  9. Captain Penguin, PhD January 11, 2013 at 1:16 pm #

    Those socks are going to go perfectly with my bandit jersey (and the white lucho hat I ordered too). Maybe a bandit kit in the future?

  10. Z January 11, 2013 at 2:05 pm #

    I’d like to see jack shacks incorporated as CX course obstacles. Perhaps a time bonus for each ounce deposited could be awarded.

  11. JP January 12, 2013 at 2:40 am #

    Looks like on the “Wear Old Beer”, he is sharing the “High Life”

  12. Nick January 12, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

    Stevil- as a fellow sufferer from “they don’t make it like they used to syndrome” (see Rockshox post and WTB Deva chair) I will let you know that if you love those P.I. toecovers in the “T.B.W.Mr.B.S.S.” picture, then be careful with them. I replaced my old ones this year with the “new and improved” version. Nine out of my ten toes will tell you, they’re not as good.