“If you resist shooting for the stars, you’ll never have far to fall.”

Vladimir Sergeyevich Solovyov looking particularly dopplegangerie.

-Cause you know…. I be philosophising like a mother fucker.

So what does this introduction have with today’s post? Probably nothing, but possibly something. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Some individuals who do tend to flirt with being too smart for their own good are the dirts from Minneapolis West, and residents of the Maximo Supremo section, Portland Design Works, as proven by their newest video featuring none other than the anomaly known as Cheever;

It’s good to see that my man is finally using a utensil to eat food with, because up until now he would have just chewed throw the lid and eaten the peanut butter with his feet.

If you have ever wondered what it’s like to be in Cheever’s shoes for a day, I suspect it’s not all that dissimilar to the sentation being experienced by the young lass on the left;
To quote comedian Steven Wright- “You know that feeling you experience just before you fall backwards in your chair? I feel like that all the time.
Plus Steven and Cheever both have awesome hair.

Moving on from some light hearted nonsense to some heavy, heavy business, as I am occasionally inclined to do, unless you’re buried deep beneath a rock, you’ve probably not heard of the recent massive leak out of the NSA.

Now, often times I will post some information and lightly encourage the Black Market’s readership to engage in a dialog, sign a petition, call their state representative, or what have you, but in this instance I must first demand you read this article and then watch the recent interview with Edward Snowden, and follow up with all of the aforementioned activities.
First thing however, I would encourage each and every three of you to sign this petition demanding Snowden get a full pardon.

“But my nose is clean. I don’t have anything to worry about.” You might be saying, which is precisely the perspective I’ve considered since 2001, but after having watched this video, my tune has changed.

Why should people care about surveillance?

Because even if you’re not doing anything wrong, you’re being watched and recorded. And the storage capability of these systems increases every year, consistently by orders of magnitude… To where it’s getting to the point you don’t have to have done anything wrong. You simply have to eventually fall under suspicion from somebody- Even by a wrong call, and then they can use the system to go back in time and scrutinize every decision you’ve ever made, every friend you’ve ever discussed something with, and attack you on that basis… To sort of derive suspicion from an innocent life, and paint anyone in the contact of a wrong doer.

This effects everybody, and if you take just a minute out of your day to place a call to your state representative and simply declare that as a U.S. citizen, we have a right to privacy and are generally concerned about who’s watching the watchers.

Now that I’ve put a gigantic target on my back for the U.S. government, I might as well keep the good times rolling and offer up the same courtesy to the Church of Scientology.

Tom Cruz has a middle tooth;
It is indeed a truly mysterious world in which we live.

At the risk of showing off my tin foil hat, I also suspect that one day robots will take over the world and render that which makes human beings wonderful and unique things obsolete.

In fact as far as I can tell from the following clip that was sent to me from Mike of Maximo Supremo residents The Banjo Brothers, a quality that makes me wonderful and unique has already been co-opted by my technological superior;

Clearly the time in which I am no longer of any use is upon us.

I suppose that is with the exception of being the architect of a very important upcoming holiday.

There are in fact just eight days until the third annual Wizard Staffs Across The Universe day is happening and I couldn’t be more excited;
I’m looking forward to a day among compatriots during which bikes will be ridden, meats will be grilled, camaraderie will be shared, macaroni salad will be thrown, and staffs will be assembled.

And remember, if one is to avoid a fall, be it metaphorical or literal, keeping your body firmly planted to the ground, or better yet to a lawn chair, is most likely your best bet.

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10 Responses to ““If you resist shooting for the stars, you’ll never have far to fall.””

  1. pedalman June 12, 2013 at 4:52 am #

    I think you should have a showdown with the penis drawing machine, you know kinda like John Henry took on the railroad spike driving machine. I wrote a song to commemerate your sure victory.
    To the tune of John Henry:
    “Stevil told his captain,
    well a man ain’t nothin but a man,
    so before I let that machine beat me down,
    I’ll die with a sharpie in my hand,
    yes I’ll die with a sharpie in my hand”.

  2. JasonKCMO June 12, 2013 at 6:01 am #

    It’s really nice to know that Cheever is a JIF man.

  3. Curtis Fastmouse June 12, 2013 at 6:57 am #

    8 days? Is it Friday already? Now my head is spinning.

    • Stevil June 12, 2013 at 7:16 am #

      It’s not Friday today? Ten days? About a week?

      • Curtis Fastmouse June 12, 2013 at 7:55 am #

        Even if it was tomorrow, it wouldn’t be soon enough…

  4. kyle June 12, 2013 at 9:38 am #

    sincerely, the guy on the couch

  5. Loren June 12, 2013 at 3:17 pm #

    It’s better to have mulleted and lost, than to never have mulleted at all.

  6. Hurben June 12, 2013 at 9:35 pm #

    Penis Drawing Machine?

    Meh!! times infinity

    Hands up everyone who used one of these in the 80’s?


    (Yes! that’s last century! Punk kids, no idea, mumble, get offa my lawn …)

  7. g.simms June 13, 2013 at 10:44 am #

    Oh cheever, I do miss hanging out. We live in the same damn town, so ring me up, I only live on the other side of the river.

    Now about this Snowden guy. I learned at a young age growing up in the great central valley of California, you just don’t “fuck with the man”. It’s not a battle you can win and usually has dire consequences. That being said, there was always the kid that wouldn’t let it go, pushed the issue of fairness, and spent a few nights in county over it. So I salute you sir, but “the man” doesn’t play by the rules, he makes them. I’m going to keep on keeping my head down, but the NSA is certainly reading this so… Thank goodness I don’t have to have a license plate on my bicycle, not yet anyway.

  8. Techno-color Dragon Gawd of Fk ups June 18, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    First off I proudly rock a license plate on my bike, awww Honey Comb cereal how I love thee. Next, Jif!?! I just vomitted in my mouth a little, Peter Pan fool Peter pan is where it’s at. Lastly, on the topic of Snowden how is in trouble for telling us what we all knew anyway? He just so happened to blab which court order Skynet was sanction with. Now can we please let the poor guy get back to that hottie left behind? Girls like that one don’t come around often (enough).