Besides steal my heart, that is. Dolly Parton in the 1970s

Good morning once again, and thank you for the time.

Now, as we get down to the tacks of brass, I have one particular thought in my head and it’s relating to those who are supremely capable of problem solving and having things generally work out in their favor.

Second to that, and though it’s a bit unrelated, but I wonder if said individual’s ‘can do’ attitude is at least to partially credit for these things working out, or if some people are just born to succeed and others to fail.

Anyhow, my rumination of this idea was piqued after a situation that occurred during a group bikecycle ride in the wilds of California’s Gold Country this weekend when the ass of a hapless individual’s bike blew out;
A few of us stood around scratching our heads a bit, engaging in some trail side problem solving, when Robert from Blue Collar stepped in and surmised that as long as the sheered off bolts in the drop outs could be replaced, and we could jam the chain stays back into the bottom bracket yoke, it would simply be the chain tension that could potentially keep the rear end together.

And I’ll be damned if that wasn’t indeed the fix we settled on;
Now I fancy myself a fairly resourceful individual, and have fixed at least one of every type of mechanical with a toe strap, but watching Robert ply his craft is another level of high karate.

I’ve seen him fix a cantilever brake, as well as a stripped out stem faceplate with pieces of a Cool Tool, I’ve seen him cut down a stop sign and use the pole to fix a catalytic converter and I’ve seen him remedy a blown head gasket with swimming pool water. He’s like our own personal MacGyver, and in times like this, we couldn’t possibly be in better hands.

Up until the previously depicted catastrophic failure however, we were enjoying some outside time in Georgetown and our buddy Isaac’s second annual Chilbilly’s Ride.

Truthfully I hadn’t ridden with Isaac for at least twelve years, since back when he rode a bike with a Judy fork that was in such desperate need of replacement that it actually had a hole rubbed in one of the stanchions. So it was with anticipation that Friendly Paul and I departed the Bay Area in what for all intent and purposes was the middle of the night in order to make it to Gold Country in time for the ride.

I’d forgotten it was a group ride and thought it was just going to be a few of us rallying around on cross bikes, but then all of these fast looking creeps showed up and I knew I was gonna be in for a flogging. Jockeying between the front group and those in back, I reserved my energy for the final sprint, and my ultimate victory, but that didn’t stop me from taking a few photos of our adventure;
After a handful of mechanicals, and a whole lot more miles, no sooner did we return to headquarters did Friendly Paul and I have to stuff our soggy carcasses into his whip and head back west again.

The Chilbilly Ride isn’t for the faint of heart or clearly for those whose bikes are glued together, but other than that, everyone is welcome.

Actually, scratch that. As long as Robert’s there armed with a rock and an assortment of bolts, we should have no problems.

In news of “My Gear Is Way Cooler Than Your Gear’, after many years of coveting those belonging to others, I finally scored enough sofa change to at long last procure myself my very own Doom vest;
For those in the know, Doom’s vests are the best on the planet. For those not in the know, now you are.
It just so happened that he was going in for hand surgery just a few days after I made contact with him, so sadly for yinz, mine will be the last until his recovery is complete, but lucky for our eyeballs, while he’s getting better, we’re sure to be treated to a whole array of his adventures at The Republic of Doom;
He’s cut from the same cloth as folks like Steve Garro, which is to say he’s not normal folk, and for that I’m thankful.

While we bask in the glow of my fashion sense, let’s get the party started with a couple bumps out of the mail bag.

As long as riding dirt speedcycles across dirt speedcycle terrain is still fresh on our minds however, hows about we get into some stuff from a group called ‘Gravel Fondo’


Since you’re a promoter of things having to do with bikes and such and stuff and junk, I just wanted to mention that there is a new group ride in Chester County, PA (outside of Philly) that we are putting together.

It’s the Gravel Fondo, a gravel road ride with bikes, food, free stuff and possibly adult beverages. All the info is here.
Could you give it a shout out on the AHTBM blog? It’s exactly one week before the Philly SSCX, (Dec 1st) so those that participate, could test out their SSCX bikes on our rural dirt road course.

Gravel Fondo

When I hear ‘gravel fondo‘, and think of ‘gravel fondu‘, which sounds like a bummer. But I’m sure this outing would be one to three hundred times more pleasurable than that.

Then, Paul from Atomic Cycles came through with information regarding another upcoming presentation of his two wheeled nonsense;

When: Friday 8pm DEC 6th, ride at 8:30

Where: Atomic Cycles, 17322 Saticoy Van Nuys, CA. 91406
What: I will provide foam weapons and foam Shuriken (aka “Throwing Stars”). You need to be dressed as a Ninja and have a bicycle. You’ll need lights for the ride to the battle ground. From there we will do some All Ninja Vs. Ninja Action!

Head or body shot with sword or star is a kill. Two limbs is a kill. Being more than 10 feet from your bike is a kill.

Dead ninjas return to the starting point.

May the best Ninja prevail!

Paul de Valera
Gamers Local 2112

I’m not totally sure, but I believe that this too will be considered ‘dressed as a Ninja’;
Because the only thing that can steal my heart quicker than Dolly, is being snugly while quietly floating on the wind and murdering people as I go.

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Leave a Reply

6 Responses to “WWDD?”

  1. Sov November 18, 2013 at 8:17 am #



  2. Snake Hack November 18, 2013 at 9:07 am #

    I’m really into this post in an Age-of-Wire-and-String sort of way, which is to say that it has a great feeling, but I’m not sure what it is really saying.

  3. Colin M November 18, 2013 at 6:09 pm #

    Dude, the vest is NICE!

    I had one of those Bianchi Cross Concept frames and one time a mechanic noticed the loose bolt at the seat stay. He said it was backed out several turns. We didn’t even imagine what would happen if that bolt failed. Now I know that it takes an army of bikers and one dirt bag with a camera to remedy that situation.

  4. Pistol Pete November 18, 2013 at 8:19 pm #

    Boy howdy,them reallyreally light bikes sure ain’t built to last.

  5. scooper November 21, 2013 at 9:03 pm #

    Robert Ives is god of all things bikecycle! My ninja is worthless. Thanx for riding bikes with me. It’s fun

  6. Shovelfoot November 25, 2013 at 12:33 pm #

    Was super bummed I’ll be in Philly a week before SSCXWC and Junkyard Cross but the gravel fondo will more than make up for it.