So, it went down like this, part two.

Photo by Complayna, 8:00 Friday morning.

Waking up Thursday morning, it was my intention to get cracking and actually walk the show with some fashion of efficacy.

Sadly for me, efficacy is not my thing. When I go grocery shopping, I wander around the store aimlessly picking up things I might like to eat as I see them. Luckily, my life partner is a little more put together than I am and assembled a game plan;

We were like a tactical team, getting in, slapping hands, making deals, and getting out before anyone knew what hit them.

And just like the day before, there were things and people a’plenty to see and say hi to.

Like for example, David Reddick, who is responsible for shooting or editing every bike or ski photo you’ve seen in the last 25 years. I told him to lie down on Mission Workshop’s booth’s grass because I thought it looked nice, and also because maybe he would like a rest;

And speaking of Mission Workshop, they along with Acre Supply have swooped up on this guy, who was just up until recently co-workers with David at BIKE Magazine;

A fella could get lost in those eyes.

And while we’re on the topic of bags, I have tons worth of good news relating to such, and stuff.

First, it was last week when these two gents from Banjo Brothers;

-pulled the trigger on the AHTBM branded Canvas Backpack;

I’ve been using one of these for the last couple of months, and as a self professed (proclaimed?) bag whore, I declare it to be a winner. And as one who very much digs the devil’s details, perhaps one of my favorites on this bag is the attached phone/camera/banana holster;

As with all their products, they surpass the Drunk Minneapolis Bike Punk Test, and if there were a greater challenge for a product to withstand, I haven’t heard of it.

Clearly the AHTBM bag game was pretty strong at this year’s show, and if this Banjo Brother’s piece wasn’t enough, a project that I started working on two years ago happened to also premiere this past week at the Swobo booth;

Photo by Jon Suzuki
So yeah…. Two years. At breakfast one morning I finally met a woman named Gloria who has been the contact person on this project, and she said “oh, you’re the one who keeps sending bags back… You’re very, um… Specific.”

That was what I guessed to be a very kind way of calling me a monumental pain in her ass, but I knew what I wanted in this bag, and I knew how it needed to be. On top of everything, each bag will come complete with added toe straps because they rule, and a custom Dank cüzie. Like I said, if I were ever to hope for a pro model of anything, this would be it.

The full list of specifics, as well as pre-order information on this guy can be found here.

Parting ways with the Swobos, I continued on and saw the Mafia Don himself, and the one responsible for the AHTBM Voler kits, Mr. Jim Helser;

The people standing in his booth clearly were confused as to why the group of us behind the camera weren’t wearing pants.

Around this time, or perhaps after, I looked into a few more faces;





Then I went to see Bianchi, and noted for the first time in a few years, they were bringing mountain bikes back into the rotation for American dealers;

And of course they had their standard array of speed cycles;


Then, as has become tradition, I traipsed away to see the friendly friends at Sock Guy;

We spent time talking sock designs, world politics, old times, and what they have in store for this year. Then, I did them the ultimate solid and come up with a graphic, which assuredly will fetch millions;

It was around this point when I pulled out my previously mentioned note pad to see what gems of inspiration I’d accumulated thus far;




Clearly, there were tons.

Time was getting on, and our presence had been requested at the annual Over The Edge Sports lunch meeting. Like a tractor beam however, I got pulled into the gaze of Diamond Wizard and his Planet Bikery;

We chatted about product, business, bikes, and family. Then I tried to get some of his raciness to rub off on me, to no avail.

But as I said, that OTE lunch wasn’t going to eat itself, so we headed that way to fill our guts along side legends;




With bellies full, we retreated to our room to catch up on some sleep and prepare our souls for that evening’s festivities;

Which I’d like to once again reiterate was brought to reality with the help of my co-conspirators Superissimo, Paul Component Engineering, and Ritte Van Vlaanderen.

After meeting for a preliminary dinner with an assortment of co-sponsors, friends, and in some cases, both, we headed to the bar, and after that, I assume these things happened, because that’s what my camera says;






And then, when the band struck its first chord, all hell broke loose;




Have you not seen The Gaytheists? Holy lord- They will sock you in the face pan. I used to be pretty good at describing bands by comparing them to others but these fellows simply defy such a thing. Completely unique both sonically, and lyrically, they create a blistering aural attack with hooks a’plenty. Like getting run over by a steamroller full of clowns, you never want it to end, and just wish that when it did, you’d be able to adequately tell your friends about it.

And my high school English teacher said I couldn’t write my way out of a paper bag….

Anyway, the auditory assault continued;












With the final note still hanging heavily in the air, and the bar having already run out of any sort of beer worth drinking (twice), revelers were left to ponder exactly what it was they had just experienced;

















By 2:30 in the morning, most all the attendees had made their way away from the bar and off to their individual safe zones.

I lagged behind to make sure the band got packed up and safely to their hotel, to thank my contacts at their bar for another fine evening of debauchery, and then finally departed to my hotel room to barf.

The final day of the show held a little bit more milling around and catching up, before Demonika, Watts and I vacated to the pool to sooth our aching and blistered souls.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how I reckon Interbike 2014 looked from my eyeballs.

Let’s make a pact to never do it again.

Until next year.