We’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
Years ago, I was friends with a fellow named Jeff. Well, the fact is, I still am, but since we’re talking about a long time ago, we’ll refer to the relationship in the past tense.
So Jeff is a pretty creative sort and one of the first folks I met from the old guard at Swobo. One night we were sitting around , drinking beer and conjuring up ideas as we were occasionally wont to do.
At some point Jeff declared (most likely after our unteenth viewing of ‘Smokey And The Bandit’) that he wanted to film a remake of the movie, starring a cast of his friends.
The crazy thing is we had a perfect cast ready made, right down to Frog who would be played by Big Dave, because after all, when filling the role of a short white lady, a super tall muscle-bound black man should always be cast;
Oh, and Fred would be played by a pig, and instead of a truckload of Coors, we would be trying to transport a Party Ball across the Bay Bridge.
Alas, like many of our youthful dreams, this was never realized, but a few weeks ago Robert from Blue Collar Bikes and this past weekend’s Meet Your Maker ride fame called me and asked if I wanted to run sag with him as Bo Darville and Cledus Snow.
This was also inspired by him finally receiving this giant firebird decal;
-the story about which (if you care) can be found here.
Naturally, since I wasn’t going to be able to ride in his event, sitting shotgun with Robert’s Snowman was just as good, plus it gave be an excuse to grow a moustache;
Granted, for the purists out there, I realize that Bo didn’t wear Bens or vans, but his pants were real tight, and my leg brace wouldn’t fit in such confines, and I like to think that if Bo was running bootlegged beer from Texarkana to Georgia today, he probably would wear some vans on his feet.
It’s my appropriation, and I have to live with it.
Anyhoo- Arriving to the staging area with a cooler full of Coors (natch), I milled around and shot a few photos of some stuff, and things, and people;
The fella who owned this bike depicted above declared that when he pulled it from beneath his house, three frogs jumped away.
In a way it made me sad, because if I owned it I would love it, and pet it, and hug it, and squeeze it.
But also it made me think of the discombobulated lovable mess that is Willie K. Bullion, and his legacy that is so tied up in Bontrager’s history, that a family of little swamp critters living under this bike just seemed right.
The time for getting on was upon us, so with Demonika filling the role of Frog, we rolled out with Jerry Reed’s angel-like voice blaring over the loudspeaker.
The ride left in three stages and there were a couple of options for people to ride if they so chose.
Eventually, and I can’t remember why, I was dropped off at a four way intersection with my cooler. I think it was to direct folks through and make sure that everyone who passed by was headed in the right direction;
There I sat by my lonsome in the blazing Sacramento sun (I totally understand now why cowboy hats are super functional), until Marty and the Squid Bikes van rolled up;
There we hung out, and offered some heckles as well as words of encouragement (six of one, half dozen of the other) to the remaining riders on the course and eventually Cledus and Frog swung back by to fetch me. From there we continued on to Bike Dog Brewing to hold the raffle, eat some food, drink some beer and meet a few of the sweet pups from Chako Rescue;
Being that this was my first real day to and about since I got hurt, I was feeling pretty cracked, so as the sun started to sink, we skedaddled away to our slice of home back in the Bay Area.
Later that night however, I got a text from Robert that looked a little something like this;
From AJ at Bike Dog-
‘We sold more beer and total sales than either Saturday during the week. That’s pretty huge’.
Rough total raised for pups- $8,500.00.
Yeah, that’s how we do it.
As a matter of fact, Robert told me that just after the first and second mentions of the raffle and the rescue efforts on this site alone, at least a couple thousand dollars were raised, so on behalf of the sweet baby pitties, and assuredly on behalf of both Blue Collar and myself, I cannot put into words just how much the support of the Black Market readership means.
From the very bottom of all of our black hearts and blue collars, I thank you all.
And speaking of raising money for worthy causes, let’s take a second to jump into the mail bag, and a note last week from a woman named Jill who is involved in one of the funnest mountain bike races this side of Heaven called the Humbug Hurry Up that looked something like this;
Could you give a shout out for the Humbug Hurry Up this year? Race day is June 27th. I don’t know how many women followers you have but they are seriously underrepresented and I hate seeing money left on the table. We are offering a team/club discount to all. Cash prizes and we give away a ton of swag. Here is site and the Faceplant;
Last year you helped us by promoting the raffle we did for Team Alex. Sadly Alex Shepard passed on May 5th this year. I hate the words, “lost his battle” because that kid never lost anything…fought until the end.
Anyway, your followers were amazing in buying tickets to support the bike raffle. We were able to donate $2,800 to his family. They are still hurting.
So there you have it. Mountainbikecycle racist types know what to do. Especially the lady types of them.
And I’m sad to hear of Alex’s passing. I hadn’t heard anything about it until now. I’m glad we were able to help his family in some small way, though it’s of little consolation.
As we near the end of today’s effort, I have an email from Ray that I’ve been sitting on and I need to get it posted up like, yesterday;
On the Back Foot has become known for its extensive documentation of cycling’s past, highlighting the people and races that have immortalized the sport.
Now we want to go beyond examining the disparate events of the past, and strive to arrive at the origin of things; the collective roots of cycling history, and to discover the most quintessential elements of cycling’s aesthetic.
Our initial foray in this direction is a four-part tribute to some of cycling’s greatest icons. The On the Back Foot series of T-shirts is a limited print, created by international artists in order to celebrate the style and essence of the sport.
Each subject has been thoughtfully paired with an artist whose innovative style and vision best captures the people and moments that changed the face of cycling.
Designed by Steve Donohue of Headset Press fame, the first piece in our limited series, the John Tomac Tribute T-Shirt captures the style and charisma of one of the greatest mountain bikers of all time. Immediately recognizable by his unmistakeable riding position and trademark drop road handlebars, this iconic print reminds us of what we loved and understood best about the man: his technical prowess and desire for speed;
A single, limited run of the John Tomac Tribute T-Shirt will be pressed. Screen-printed in Austin, TX the Yeti-inspired turquoise on black American Apparel Short Sleeve will be available for pre-order for the duration of one week, starting Tuesday, June 2nd, before being permanently retired.
Also, peeps can use the code AHTBM10 for a discount. The code expires on Tuesday the 9th at noon.
There you go… We all have Tomac inside of our hearts. Now we can have him just outside of them as well.
Lastly, in news of art and bikes and Ibis, Duncdee made with the contact about a thing happening soon;
My homies Charlie and Scott are having a free beer Ibis event at their most awesome shop in SF–Elevation Bike Co;
Great guys, great shop. Art by Christmas Alley/Chris McSally/Chris McNally, talk by Ibis honcho Scott Nicol.
Malted beverages are free. Next Thurs, June 11, details on artwork which is attached. Be there or be somewhere less cool. Post on AHTBM if you haven’t already, por favor.
Why, that do sound like an enjoyable evening…
And any time anyone makes mention of free beer, I always feel compelled to make them regret it.
I mean after all- I suspect that’s what Bo and Cledus would probably do.
The Meet Your Maker was a good time. Thanks for the timely direction at that corner. All the Sierra’s we had be drinking were making the navigation interesting on the way back in.
Jesus buddy, this is the internet, where the hell are all the cute puppy pics?!?
Carrie: Actually, my heaviest relationship was with an acid-rock singer… named Robert Crumly. We were together, oh, eight-and-a-half days. God, I really thought that was it.
Carrie: One day, I came home and found him in the shower… with a girl… and her mother!
Bandit: Well, at least he kept it in the family.
It’s easy to Google stuff. It’s easier to watch the movie.