Hey- there’s no birthday party for me here.


I always come here day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year with the same hope.

One of these days I’ll wise up.

Hold on to your hats folks, because already today’s post has taken me on an emotional rollercoaster ride.

So hey, did you hear that Chris Akrigg has a new video out?

Oh my god.

I mean, seriously, oh my god.

I’m to the point where I believe there’s literally nothing that dick cannot do.

wherediditgo copy

Welp, I guess you gotta wait, and for now, just read about my interpretation of it…


Thank Jebus for crafty Russians.

In a big picture kind of way, it’s kinda like the zoo. I hate that the animals are in captivity, but I would never be able to see them otherwise. I hate that Chris is as good as he is, but I would never be able to see, let alone conceive of anything he does if he wasn’t.

Like, if talent were a thing that were dolled out in specific portions at birth. Imagine if you will, all the world’s babies on a conveyor belt, and some lunch lady looking individual would spoon a ladle full of talent over each baby that came by. Unfortunately most of us happened to pass by when there was a shift change and we got whatever talent was spilled onto the belt, but Chris got extra portions to maintain the correct inventory in the vat. This is how I imagine things work, and I’m sticking to it.

And thus concludes a tour of the disaster that is my mind.

In other news of the people doing things on the bikes that most normal mortals cannot, like clockwork Cranpa from FBM made with the contact and a couple of links illustrating just such that sort of individual;


We posted a new Kenny Horton Video on FBM- If you wanted to could share it that would be RAD!

-And 2 shop stop videos from the Profile /FBM Maiden America if you missed them…

Number one, and number two.

I might actually be in vegas this year.

– cran

Is it weird that I have a bit of a man crush on Kenny?

And it’s noteworthy that Cranpa actually uttered the words regarding the possibility of him going to Vegas this year, because besides the Westboro Church, and Ralph Steadman, I don’t think there’s anyone in history who I’ve known to have such a loathing for it.

I’ll do my best to make it worth his while however, and while I’m thinking about it, today marks exactly one week until I spill the beans about who is the featured act at this year’s Underbike Industry Mixer®;
At this stage, I can at least give you a hint.

They broke up in 2013, and just a week or so after I sent the singer a message asking him if they would be interested in playing a reunion show. Sure that he’d say they would not, I sat at my desk twiddling my thumbs thinking of another appropriate act.

Well, I’ll be damned if he didn’t get back in touch within a matter of minutes saying that they would in fact, and that I should go ahead and pencil them in.

I guess when you’re a high powered bike blog douchebag (same diff), sometimes the universe just comes together for you.

In news of a far more discouraging sort, Ghostship Matt got in touch regarding a fallen comrade, and his effort to lend some aid;

Hi Stevil,

Last Monday night on our shop ride, one of our friends/customers, Bob Hurd, had a car pull in front of him while he was descending a hill. Several witnesses at the scene said the car pulled in front of him so suddenly, he probably didn’t even have time to hit the brakes. Bad scene is an understatement. Bob is lucky to alive. He was in the ICU in Hartford hospital for the better part of last week, and spent 13 hours on the surgeon’s table getting facial reconstructive surgery this past Saturday.

Bob is a great, upstanding person in our community, a hell of a rider & a friend in need;
He is sole proprietor of his own business, and being out of work means that no funds are coming in at the moment. His family started a GoFundMe account to help raise some cash to help keep the lights on at home, etc, while he’s recovering.

Any donated amount is appreciated. You can see from the number of folks who’ve donated in such a short time, Bob is well known & liked in our community. Would you mind sharing this with our cycling-community-at-large on AHTBM? Thanks & be safe!


It certainly looks like Bob is getting a huge amount of support from his immediate community, but as anyone who has been, or has known anyone in a situation like this is aware, every little bit helps. If you might have an extra five or ten spot to throw into the cause, I’m sure both Bob, his family, and those rallying around him in his time of need would appreciate the help.

Any of us are just one inattentive driver away from finding ourselves in the same boat.

Finally, I’d like to share a photo that Jennifer of One On One Bicycle Studio recently sent to me which I’ve affectionately titled ‘Turd In The Punch Bowl’;
Four and a half years of art school and all I got was an ability to title stuff.

And it is with that, that I adjourn back to other tasks in my life that need to be addressed, my bagel safely tucked into my pant’s waste line.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

6 Responses to “Hey- there’s no birthday party for me here.”

  1. pedalman July 29, 2015 at 6:26 am #

    My theory on Askrigg is that at some point a past relative got intimate with a squirrel. Its the only logical explanation.

  2. El Gecko July 29, 2015 at 6:29 am #

    Brave New World did something similar with the babies, except there were whole conveyor belts that ranged from genetically and pharmaceutically “impaired” kids to other lines of “enhanced” kids that would eventually become rulers of some kind.

    That book is weirdly prophetic, especially these days. Shit is crazy out there.

  3. Ben July 29, 2015 at 8:48 am #

    I watched that Akrigg video the other day, and it is pretty amazing, but c’mon, no giant gap huck at the end out to the island? Sissy.

    • Jim July 29, 2015 at 12:08 pm #

      Ben took the words outta my mouth. I think if it had sponsored by Red Bull he would have made that last jump. Hell, he would have had WINGSSS! Still, an amazing vid.

  4. Zach July 29, 2015 at 2:48 pm #

    Somebody once asked Chris Akrigg how he gets back up the hill to pick up his truck. “The fuck are you talking about?” was all he said.

    • Stevil July 29, 2015 at 8:10 pm #

      Yet another reason he’s my favorite.