The junk drawer.

Continuing on with inbox sorting, today’s post is ‘The Mail Bag’, ‘Land Of Broken Toys’, ‘Stuff And Things’, or any other title I’ve come up over the years when I have a pile of random odds or ends and nowhere else to put it. Also, I m pretty sure that’s a fake poo back there in the corner;
junk drawer

Or is it real?

Coming out of the gate hot, and on the heels of the Hank bike launch, the supremely good people at Transition just ‘dropped‘ an ‘edit‘ (look at me, just killing it with the vernacular of the youth) illustrating exactly what a Klunker can do in the hands of an experienced pilot;

My god, that’s a tasty dish.

Go ahead and watch it again. It’s cool… I’ll wait.

Oh, what’s that? You’d like another serving, but slightly different?

I got you covered;

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, are bikes cool.

Sometimes they make you bleed, and sometimes they make you laugh hysterically, and like in Will The Tiny Viking’s case, sometimes they make you so tired you have to crash on the ground and cuddle with your friend;
In other news that doesn’t in any way, shape, or form relate to that, it’s no secret that I’m a pretty big fan of Photoshop. My former compatriot at Swobo who was affectionately referred to as ‘The Skipper’ first help me cut my teeth with that partuclar software way back in the winter of 2009 when I hosted a ride celebrating the release of Joe Parkin Has Nice Hair’s first book ‘Dog In A Hat’;
We actually worked this one out together. Technically my first solo Photoshop project was a photo of The Skipper’s Brother and his brother’s young son standing in a field of flowers, getting blown up by a UFO.

Anyway, I have gotten somewhat proficient with the ‘shopping in the years since, and have created all manner of absurdity.

Well, the other day James came through with a creation of his own;
tri_hotodg (1)
This got me to thinking.

I know… It came as a shock to me too.

Anyway, I thought it might be nice to have a contest. To any and all who want to enter, take this here image of a hot dog, and make something awesome with it. Let your mind run wild, and get your creation to me by Saturday, August the 29th. I will take a few days to ruminate on the submissions, and will announce a winner some time the following week.

The winner will get a care package containing an assortment of AHTBM stickers, a Black Mettle t-shirt in their chosen size;
(Whore Church mask not included)
-and an assortment of other stuff I have laying around my office.

-Which will probably maybe be good. It’s a veritable treasure chest in here.

For inspiration, here’s a hot dog one I did of Matt Lolli last winter;
Obviously that hotdog isn’t the same as this one. If you have a favorite hot dog image, feel free to use that one.

So get cracking and let both your imagination and love of processed meat tubes run wild.

And speaking of hot dogs, this is in exactly one month from tonight;
I literally am crapping my pants with excitement.


If you live within a day’s drive of Las Vegas, and/or you have plans to be at Interbike, please note that no invitations, or passes are necessary for this event. All you have to do is arrive with an appreciation for good times, and a desire to move your goddamned ass. It’s as simple as that.

If you can’t make it, or choose not to, there’s always next year, which I hear is gonna be equally as good.

It may be even a little better…

In news of hands helping hands that can help hands, Kyle got in touch while I was in Washington State with a plea, and assuming I’m not too far off the back, I will roll out for you here;

Hi Stevil,

Kyle Johnston here, a reader of your blog and appreciator of your aesthetic. I’m also a member of the Ritte family here in Los Angeles. Cliff Burton was my idol when I was twelve;
Anyway, my family is full of cyclists, and last year my beloved uncle Jim Johnston was killed by a driver while riding his bike in my home state of Nebraska. Jim was an enthusiastic and hilarious person with boundless energy and a real passion for life. He was a high school teacher and athletic trainer and he blazed trails in his field and helped many kids to follow his path. He also regularly organized blood drives that impacted the lives of thousands of people.

To move on, my family set up a memorial organization in his honor, to continue his blood drives, provide student athlete scholarships, work for safer streets and organize a memorial bike ride. That ride is taking place this august 23rd outside of Omaha Nebraska.

It won’t match the intensity of Gravel Worlds, or masters TTT championships. What it will be is a good group of people riding 16 or 40 miles, beverage and snack stations after and during, and bringing a positive cycling presence to an area that is not very kind to cyclists. That, and honoring Jim Johnston and raising a little money to keep the work of the organization going.

That said, if you are at all moved to share a link to this ride with your readership, it would be greatly appreciated. If not, thanks for reading anyway and AHTBM.

Here’s the link to the site, and the ride reg on USAC.


I’m gutted by the news and for Kyle and his family. Having done a little bit of research on Jim and the community he so profoundly and positively affected, I can see that he really, truly was one of the good ones.

If by chance friends in and around Omaha would like to get in on this, and pay tribute to him and his efforts, you know what to do.

Finally, I got a report from the outdoors (a place to which I rarely travel these days) from a fellow named Bill;


As a long-time reader of AHTBM, I want to thank you for the enlightenment you provide on a thrice-weekly basis to we of the unwashed masses. Finally made a purchase when you re-stocked the L/XL DOA socks, and Damn! -they practically ride themselves;
billsfeet (1)
Keep up the great work!

Cordially yours,
Bill Priest

Nobody ever said getting a job with the Department of Awesome was going to be easy, but they probably should have.

It certainly beats organizing a junk drawer.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

6 Responses to “The junk drawer.”

  1. Largo August 17, 2015 at 7:49 am #

    The Dept. of Awesome? How about The Ministry of Awesome?
    Department sounds kind of mediocre, less awesome than it should.

    • Stevil August 17, 2015 at 12:02 pm #

      The proud, the few, the upper echelon of mediocrity.®

  2. Luceronator August 17, 2015 at 4:09 pm #

    Not that I have an RCH’s worth of the talent of the riders in the Klunkin Whistler vid, but doesn’t running discs front and rear kinda make it a rigid single speed and not a klunker?

    • Stevil August 18, 2015 at 5:56 am #

      That’s a good point. Send an email to Mark Norstad or somebody. He’d know.

  3. Sergio August 17, 2015 at 4:48 pm #

    Muy bien Muy bien

  4. Dave August 17, 2015 at 5:08 pm #

    That second klunking video was awesome.