“You should stick to bikes.”
This guy originally looked like this;
But because the introduction of today’s post is what it is, it seemed more appropriate to put him in a suitable environment;
Which upon further consideration should probably look more like this;
Because I think telling me to stick to bikes is crap.
As a matter of fact, some of you might remember this post that I wrote in response to being told I should just focus on bikes, which I will always happily roll out should that directive ever be suggested to me again.
I like all kinds of things, and I am of the opinion that we are all a pretty diverse group here, who also like all kinds of things, which is why some posts might not specifically cover any aspect of bikecycles, or bikecycle related content whatsoever.
Luckily though, today we have a whole lotta bike stuff to cover, because just the other night when I arrived home, I found this sitting in my studio;
As a little bit of a back story before we get into the meat, it was this post when I introduced you all to The Hank.
In several conversations with Dylan that followed, the good folks at Asylum reckoned that I could use one of these myself, which I enthusiastically agreed with.
I sent several blood and semen samples, signed away the rights to my first born (who may or may not already exist out there somewhere in the world), and before the proverbial lamb could shake its tail twice, she landed at my house.
I cracked open the box to find many wondrous prizes;
And I got to crackin’ on the disassembly, and reassembly.
Once all contact points were suitably greased, and/or LocTited®, I got her out for a little bit of trail ripping, and a low budget photoshoot;
Like the Jesus Lizard song Mouth Breather, this bike is the ‘retard activator‘, in that, like when the band noted whenever they would play the song, once aboard this bike, ‘things get real retarded‘.
Granted, while recovering from knee surgery, it would probably be prudent for me to keep a handle on the reins a bit, plus mashing on the pedals is a component that I can sense could give me some grief, so for now, I’m going to tread lightly.
Just the same, it seems as though we’ve begun what will assuredly be a wild and torrid romance together, and I look forward to many more smiles in her company.
If just such a bike is a thing that you could be seeing yourself upon, lay your eyeball balls on the schematics;
The pertinent measurements are 18.7″ center to top, with a 22.8″ effective top tube, and all the rest of the shiz is here.
I can almost guarantee if you were to gain possession of one of these, you shan’t be sorry.
Oh, hey- Here’s some other bike type of shat I can shovel-
I just took delivery of a new run of Chuey Brand AHTBM caps;
I mentioned in this Instagram post yesterday that there would be two different bill styles, so I was going to wait until I received the remaining order from Chuey HQ before I put them in the store, but I later realized the difference in the caps is just about this side of nothing, so if you’d like to swoop on now, I’d say go ahead and do your worst.
They are real comfy, and like Chuey’s caps always do, fit like a custom glove, which of course I needn’t mention because you can tell by the satisfied expression on Chlöie the hat model’s face.
In even more bikecycle related news, I mentioned on Monday that the third annual Hairnet Ride is right around the corner;
-and though original issue hairnets are fairly hard to come by these days, a company called Spin has a slew of newly made, and reasonably priced hairnets for sale on EBay.
Just for shits, giggles, and because it matches my coveralls, I went ahead and purchased an orange one, though my empty refrigerator tells me that wasn’t a very wise investment;
I have to say however, if they’re good enough for a Tom Ritchey look-alike, then by golly, they’re good enough for me;
If you order one two weeks ago, you might get it in time for the ride.
If not, then you can just wrap your head up in toilet paper and call it good.
Finally, before we part ways I would like to note that I will be buggering off to the wilds of Northern California for the weekend, so chances are better than good that I won’t have a proper post written for Monday.
I hope that each and all of you have spectacular weekends, during which time you do nothing but stick to bikes.
You know… Or not.
So many bikes, I came here for the tennis balls
Swoop! It’s high time I don a proper and handsome looking cap. Thanks to you and Chuey! Cheers!
You should stick to writing whatever the hell you want. And probably more about Wakeman.
With Gary on this!!
Yes!
That guy Wakeman knows it!
Thems some mighty lonnnnnnng chain stays.
Did they ask for the blood and semen samples, or did you just provide them for “fun” ?
Eff sticking to bikes. Million dam sights for just bikes. Since finding AHTBM in 09 or so Ive been turned on to new music, awesome art, t-shirts, socks, tennis balls and as of late the neighbors are trying to figure out the 45 year old crazy sum bitch grinding the cul de sac curbs on a bright orange skateboard.
Actually, what he looks like is a 54 year old service manager at a local bike shop. The last time he wore a suit was to attend his wife’s funeral in 2009. He hates corporate America, loves to keep it local, and is an advocate for bike infrastructure in our area. When he saw your depiction of him, he said “Bummer, after all the mileage I gave him with tennis balls.”. I really think this was beneath you, because “ery body got their own thing” right? Artists have such infantile egos.
I’ve been told to stick to bikes a bunch of times. I just grabbed the best image of a guy pointing and yelling I could find. Plus, it seemed like an easy intro for a post about bikes. Or maybe I’m just misunderstanding what you’re saying.
Was over here droolin a little piece of spaghetti and missed that smokin Chuey cap!
Fear not. I will be getting a whole bunch more in this week.