I’ve got nothing at all.


In the last two days I’ve received a number of communications from folks noting an anticipation of what my response will be regarding current events in the American government.

Sadly, but maybe not surprisingly, for the first time in the entire time that I’ve maintained this website, I’m out of words. What I’m experiencing is a combination of mourning, and dread, not unlike that which I felt during the first Gulf War and well-validated rumors that were circulating that a draft was to be imminently instated.

Every day I wake up feels like a bad dream, though by nature I tend to be a pretty doom and gloom character anyway, so maybe not too much stock can be put in that statement.

The bottom line is now that an outspoken xenophobic misogynist is the ruler of the free world, hate crimes are already on the rise, and many women I know personally are openly fearing for their safety. I can’t even go into the social, environmental or economic implications that will most likely follow. This gives me a great deal of concern, yet at the same time steadies my resolve to be an even more conscientious, and vigilant person than I was before, because in my heart I understand vitriol never calms vitriol, and the one thing I can control are my actions and my response.

Am I scared? Yes, shitless. But as my mom said to me on the phone the other day, “I have to hold on tightly to hope, because without that, I have nothing.

It’s a bit of a cop-out but as I was combing through past posts the other day, I found one that is perhaps more relevant today than ever.

Feel free to read it, and if you have already, maybe go ahead and re-read it.

I should again note that I’m not infallible in this perspective. While I try and subscribe to it with every fiber of my being, at the end of it all, I’m still just a flawed human being and occasionally succumb to my own thoughts of negativity. But I’m at least aware that it’s an issue and that’s a start.

The trick I’m trying to master is to not internalize all that’s taken place in not only this entire election, but also over the course of the last few days, and dwell on it, and stew on it until my well-being is just an infected and festering mess. One component of it all that offers me solace is that we have a well-bound community here. We do right by others, and we look out for each other, and though we may be small in number, we’re committed to what’s right, and in my humble opinion, this is worth more than money can buy.

And to that end, as long as we all can take this day by day, right wrongs we’re seeing be done to others, work on whatever level we can just to simply support those who we love, and try to make the world a slightly better place, then maybe as we engage in the process, it will prove to be far more than nothing at all.

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Leave a Reply

16 Responses to “I’ve got nothing at all.”

  1. Brian November 11, 2016 at 7:00 am #

    +1, in the parlance of our times.

  2. Rottenmac November 11, 2016 at 7:06 am #

    Thanks. You are always welcome to have an extended visit here in Germany. Beer is cheaper than water, and the riding is pretty sweet.

    • Steve November 11, 2016 at 9:19 am #

      When the Germans are like “that dude’s bad news – if you need a safe place we got you” you know your country is fucked.

  3. The Los November 11, 2016 at 7:19 am #

    Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated in this time. Despondency leads only to inaction.


  4. Tim Jackson November 11, 2016 at 7:28 am #

    I’m pretty happy to be able to say that I know you- even a little, even casually. You’re a good soul- as I’ve said to you before. As a friend of mine recently said, “thanks brochacho.”

  5. Jeff November 11, 2016 at 8:10 am #

    Best 200 words I’ve read in awhile. Thanks, much needed.

  6. Cory November 11, 2016 at 9:01 am #

    Thank you for this, it’s pitch-perfect and is beautifully written.
    I’m still walking around in a daze.

  7. Sam November 11, 2016 at 9:24 am #

    Thank you.

  8. Thom November 11, 2016 at 9:39 am #

    Good words Stevil…

  9. Dave November 11, 2016 at 10:21 am #

    Thank you.

  10. Lucero November 11, 2016 at 11:08 pm #

    Drumpf won by preaching hate and fear. So now we can go forward and fearlessly spread love and acceptance and awesomeness. It’s exactly what you have been doing here from day 1, and it’s more important now than ever. It’s gonna be okay. We got this shit. Thanks for doing what you do.

  11. Crank November 12, 2016 at 7:07 am #

    Politics are cyclic, and this worm will turn. Now is the time to let your voice be heard louder than ever, to stand tall and be unashamed of what has happened. Sometimes a lesson needs to be taught, and this is just such a time. America may soon learn to care, to research their candidates and to see our place as one of many groups of people, not as a god anointed holier than thou. I truly believe Trump started this as a gag, and it got away from him. Soon, his ineptitude will show and we will be on our way to an impeachment. As for the racism and general redneckishness, they have not grown in numbers, but have been emboldened and enabled by Trump. Shine your light Stevil, and the cockaroaches will scurry back into the dark. Now good sir, if you will, go rip some rail or shred a trail. I gotta go ride to work and wrench all day. If you need to get away, El Tour de Tucson, Catalina Brewing Co. I got a couch for ya.

  12. heyjamesguesswhat November 12, 2016 at 6:49 pm #

    Shit yes.
    Thanks Stevil.

  13. Martijn November 12, 2016 at 11:43 pm #

    Now ride your bike, homeboy!

  14. Mauricio November 15, 2016 at 8:16 am #

    A-fucking-men….well put, sir.

  15. Colin M November 15, 2016 at 8:34 pm #

    This has to be what rebirths punk. This manufactured bullshit is out of control.