That is to say that I hope your Black Friday was so epic that it extended for at least a couple of days, and you have tons of black eyes and giant televisions to show for your efforts.
Hello and welcome back to the village of the damned, population: Us.
First up, I have but a few items to cover, the first, and least important of which is that while you’re scratching your head trying to figure out what to get yourself for Christmas, I found exactly three medium sized black woolies hidden under one of my many piles of money;
So far, there have been no complaints regarding this piece’s construction, and all reviews have come back favorable.
If you happen to be of a medium build, and have a penchant for being snuggly as ever, then don’t hesitate to make your move.
Why, in order to push some item out of the store, I even hired a professional promotions company to write my copy for me;
In the AHTBM web store, I don’t have shit for Black Friday specials. Everything’s real fucking cheap anyway… Well, except for that bomb ass Stunt Association jacket, but seriously, that thing is sick. Anyway, I have stocking stuffers out the ass. Stickers, socks, hats, patches, zines, some of them dope long sleeved woolies are still in this bitch… Seriously. Or you know what? Fuck it. Just buy some shit and fuck the stocking. It’s the season of rampant capitalism y’all. Get hot, dummy. When Jesus shows up, you wanna look so fresh he’s all “OH DAMN!” #MyMarketingTeamIsTheFinestMoneyCanBuy
As you can imagine, fluid poetry like that doesn’t come for free.
Now, because yesterday was the (slightly postponed) day when my annual Hairnet Ride went down;
-and I was literally rode hard and put away wet, (i.e., I was wet for five or six hours, and drunk for twice as long), I will conclude today’s effort with a smattering of images shot from a very soggy camera;
We trespassed, we broke and entered, we drank and/or used illicit drugs in public, There may have been a matter of liberating a bit of Tyvek from a construction site which we later used to roll up in to share body heat, and there could have possibly been a handful of other crimes committed as well.
At one point Kurtz said “where are your friends?” “What do you mean? You’re all here.” I responded. “No, like all those other people like Big Dave and Loudass and stuff” he continued. “Ooooh, I know what you mean… Yeah, they’re all smarter than to spend the day riding around in the rain to nowhere.” I concluded.
Assuming I don’t end up with a world record case of pneumonia, I will say that yesterday flirted along the border of epic.
To the souls who braved the foul weather, I thank you. It was a day for the books, and had they not shown up, I assuredly would have returned home and gone back to bed, if for no other reason than to wait patiently for Black Tuesday.