The last six months certainly have been a kick in the pants, (in the not very good way), but this last week took the cake as I watched my little cat make a rapid decline from health to death in just a few days.
Now friends, these words are the hardest I’ve ever had to write, and some that I would give anything in the world not to. In the time since he’s left, I recognize that Buddy was my compass, and without him, I feel more lost and alone than I’ve ever thought possible.
He was my baby. What makes it the worst now, but will hopefully make it cherished later, is that from the very beginning I rolled up my sleeves and got my hands dirty in every aspect of his life during our sixteen years together. I committed to him with absolutely everything that I am, including holding him as he died, and burying him.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but in the end couldn’t have happened any other way.
For one third of my life he was mine, and I was his, and after carrying his little body into the backyard, and putting him into a grave lined with clover and grass, I read these words;
“Goodbye my little boy. You were the single component in my existence that was absolutely perfect, and during our life together, you taught me more about being loved, and being able to love than any other being. You were a friend without compare, and when you left, a piece of my heart left with you. I hope you’ve found your way to wherever it is we go when we die, and that we can see each other again someday.
“The pain that you feel is inversely proportional to the love that you felt.”
There’s not much left to say. Though I’m absolutely broken, the contact that people have made in support and donations to various shelters made in his name are the most beautiful expressions I’ve ever experienced. If I could hug each of you, share some tears, and tell you how sincerely I appreciate the support, I would.