Fuzzy man, fuzzy woman.. Fuzzy baby.

Before I get into anything, I should take the opportunity to apologize for my late arrival on Monday. Over the weekend Cobra Commander was making some adjustments under the hood, (none of which I’m smart enough to understand), resulting in my inability to throw a new post up in a timely fashion.
In an attempt to remedy this, I have a new feature for AHTBM called J.P.H.N.H’s trivia corner;


This was the second take, as the first just occurred in casual conversation as a young man happened by atop the aforementioned bike brand.
Also, in the name of fairness and since Joe refused a second round of Ernie’s laugh, here you go.
The first person to guess correctly gets a highly coveted AHTBM prize pack, which may or may not include any one, or number of the following;
Stickers
Cüzies
AHTBM socks
Various detritus
Inner tubes
Photographs
Toys
Empty beer cans
Full beer cans
Forged autograph picture of Ernest Borgnine
A winner will be picked when a winner wins, so leave your answer in the comments section.
Get cracking, and god speed.
An item cut from a different cloth that has been sitting on my back burner for a couple of weeks is the following article that was written for BIKE Magazine by Brian Vernor about Lincoln, Nebraska’s pride and joy, as well as one of my esteemed advertisers, Monkey Wrench Bicycles;
monkeywrenchSPLATweb2.jpg
Well, it’s come to my attention that the little shop that doubles as a museum (ala San Diego’s Velo Cult) has recently relocated to a much bigger and far more suitable space;
newmonkeywrenchfromabove.jpg
Photo courtesy of Steve Andel
If random bits of mountain bike history is what suits your fancy, or you perchance need to find a mate for your single WTB Roller Cam brake, you need look no further than Monkey Wrench.
In the world of art, there is a fair amount that sucks. I am by no means an authority on what is and what is not quality art work, but I have been involved in this particular culture long enough to have developed a keen sense of what I like, hence the random ‘art that doesn’t suck’ segments that have appeared here from time to time. I still get giddy when something crosses my plate that simply brings a smile to my face while acting as a comparison telling me that my obsessive compulsive disorder really isn’t all that big of a deal. The following example that I got from the Sticker Robot does just that;
All hail Dalton Ghetti;
pencilleadcarvings.jpg
Now I realize that it’s unfair for me to transition away from something so sublime to a topic as crass as the following, but recently I have become acquainted with a delightful individual in Florida (of all places) who goes by the name of Andrew Black. Besides being a derelict who apparently has been boiled in the same broth as myself, he runs an interesting business called Blackbook Stencils.
After some recent ham and egging on the phone recently, we have joined forces in what the kids call a ‘collabo’, and I have just taken delivery of my very own run of All Hail The Black Market stencils;
stencilinthebox.jpg
As I’ve stated in the description in the store, I don’t condone graffiti or civil dissent in any form, however if these are to be used in such a fashion, I can’t stop you.
I have a small run of these to start off with, so if you would like to procure a set of your own, get on it.
My fingers are already dirtied;
ahtbmonblackfence.jpg
I should also note that the previously mentioned AHTBM/Pushbike messenger bag is also now available in the store;
ahtbmmessbaganddetails.jpg
Since there is one man and one machine behind the creation of each of these, I am going to sell them on a pre-order, 20 bag maximum basis. This means, I will open the order window now, and close it in two weeks, or 20 bags, which ever happens first. Ian’s turn around on these is impressively fast, so I would expect that I should take delivery of them within a week or so of the order window closing.
If you want one of these, which I’m sure you do, place your order by the 24th of August, so that I can hopefully get them shipped out by the end of the first week of September.
From the mail bag, Parker just sent me this short and sweet correspondence;
“Dear Stevil,
My girlfriend sent this clip to me today and I instantly thought of you.
You may have posted it months or years ago for all I know but you’ll still get a kick out of it.
I hope the life of a big wig corporate success is treating you well.
Don’t forget about us little guys when you sell everything to Google.

Yours,
Parker”

Responding to him, I thanked him for the clip, offered him this one in return, and told him the day Google buys me out, I will forget everything that happened up until that point.
No offense to my family, friends, and loyal readers, but being handed a check for a brazillion dollars can sometimes adversely effect a man.
Josh sent me an email for a party I only wish I was in attendance at, but when the Google check clears, I doubt I’ll miss another;
“Caught in the wild..
Ninth picture down. Missed the ride, so I thought I’d catch up on the blog.
Fun was had, as always.”

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Hear ye, hear ye. The Fucking Bike Club has more fun than you do.
In closing, I got a heads up from DPow! of esteemed advertisers Portland Design Works with varying degrees of information exchange;
“New light Wednesday! The Fenderbot has arrived.
Also, here is one for you. Funny, she looks EXACTLY like every woman who has done time as far as I can tell.”

Indeed the Fenderbot has arrived. I wanted to include a large, and inviting image of the newest item to roll off of PDW’s assembly line, but I don’t yet have one of my own to shoot, and DPow! was too busy swimming in his Scrooge McDuck pool of gold coins to forward me one, so for now you’ll just have to rely on their website.
Secondly, my concern for ‘The Jersey Shore’ ended the day I let my cable expire, though in retrospect, it should have occurred several weeks earlier.
It is with that, that I now conclude with a clever reference to the top of the post.
If anybody has any ideas, shoot them my way at;
usuallyiknowhowtofinishoffapostexceptsometimesidont@allhailtheblackmarket.com
Suckit, suckas.
newlittleskull.jpg

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31 Responses to “Fuzzy man, fuzzy woman.. Fuzzy baby.”

  1. Jen Dial Santoro August 11, 2010 at 7:40 am #

    I believe the last Gurciotti rider to win cross World’s was Daniele Pontoni in 1995 – considered an “Open” world championship.

  2. Jamie August 11, 2010 at 7:48 am #

    I’m guessing Vito Di Tano

  3. JP August 11, 2010 at 7:53 am #

    pascal richard?

  4. Jen Dial Santoro August 11, 2010 at 7:54 am #

    Guerciotti. Sorry for the mispelling. And I’m pretty sure he was busted for cocaine some time after that.

  5. Roger August 11, 2010 at 7:55 am #

    I believe it was Erwin Vervecken.

  6. Keith August 11, 2010 at 8:07 am #

    Henrik Djernis?

  7. samh August 11, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    I got nothin’.

  8. RainKing August 11, 2010 at 9:08 am #

    Daniele Pontoni in ’97?

  9. FunkyLaneO August 11, 2010 at 9:28 am #

    You don’t have to watch the Jersey Shore, apparently the same things take place on Boston streets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5bl7S7TI1w

  10. Gabe August 11, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    Winston Garland?

  11. Jonathan Gothorpe August 11, 2010 at 9:42 am #

    Was it Mario De Clercq?

  12. Lane August 11, 2010 at 1:21 pm #

    Based on who J.P.H.N.H. hung around with in Yurp, I’m gonna guess Adri Van Der Poel, 1996. He rode for Rabobank then, perhaps it was painted as a Colnago? I might be overthinking this though…

  13. Jesse Englert August 11, 2010 at 1:59 pm #

    Roland Liboton

  14. Vaeringjar Eggeling August 11, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

    Since it’s no doubt a trick question, I guess Ali Neffati.

  15. Crank August 11, 2010 at 2:34 pm #

    Marco Aurelio Fontana. Really?

  16. Crank August 11, 2010 at 2:39 pm #

    Roger Lackey? No. Jimmy Hoffa?

  17. Erik B August 11, 2010 at 2:52 pm #

    Adri Van Der Poel

  18. Ryan August 11, 2010 at 3:40 pm #

    I have been slacking off for at least 45 minutes now (and I’m at work) and thanks to a lousy wiki/google research I have kinda narrowed the candidates down to: van der Poel, Herijgers, Pontoni and Vervecken but I probably got most of it wrong since it all relies on incomplete german wiki articles… anyway: I say it was Vervecken.

  19. jhl August 11, 2010 at 4:07 pm #

    Fontana — like Fonz but with tana

  20. Ray August 11, 2010 at 4:15 pm #

    Put my card in the hat for Daniele Pontoni as well.

  21. Nick N August 11, 2010 at 6:25 pm #

    Adri van der Poel

  22. Gary August 11, 2010 at 6:34 pm #

    Adri van der Poel

  23. Dave Lee August 11, 2010 at 6:55 pm #

    I could watch that ‘Little Hipper’ video all day.

  24. Ghost Rider August 11, 2010 at 7:48 pm #

    I’m going to guess Roland Liboton of Belgium

  25. dudeonss August 11, 2010 at 8:06 pm #

    Lucy Leehung Phorskin?

  26. Teamfubar August 12, 2010 at 4:16 am #

    Why, oh why do you make us wait for the answer…
    Since no one has won yet, either you’re stringing us along or no one has guessed the right person. So, it has to be either Dirty Sanchez or Johnny Holmes. The only way you could laugh like Ernie is be one of those guys…
    BTW, were Bert and Ernie the first hipsters with their ironic retro shirts and hair?

  27. Tee August 12, 2010 at 6:48 am #

    That prize pacage is mighty sweet but you need to throw in that Mr T. in a pockett to make it compleet. If you havent lost it yet. The pencil art is way cool. And twenty bags, thats it, you have to be kidding me.

  28. Stevil August 12, 2010 at 7:05 am #

    Kidding you? No, no I’m not. If there was an army of people making my bags, it would be different, but I don’t want to crush my guy under a pile of orders he can’t complete. That will just make him cranky.

  29. bobby knight August 12, 2010 at 7:22 am #

    Dick Trickle?
    I just like saying it, sorry.

  30. BikeLemming August 12, 2010 at 8:14 am #

    The Will Arnett clip, one of my favorites. By the way, I put a new post up today just for you!

  31. lucie white August 13, 2010 at 11:43 am #

    fruitboots!