Throw your money here.

Really, what are bikecycle related action sports blogs but disguised advertising campaigns designed to part you from your hard earned income?


Certainly sometimes I might be given the opportunity to share with you my experiences with a product or a thing or an experience that in some rare instances has been gifted to me from the manufacturer, or provider of the product, thing or experience, and in these rare instances I am eternally grateful, because only crazy people don’t like free stuff.

Recently two manufacturers of dietary supplements contacted me and asked if I would be interested in trying some of their product, presumably so that I would write about it in an attempt to convince the readership into purchasing some for themselves. While I doubt my perspective would sway the readership one way or another, It still seems right to broach the subject of the products, if only to give thanks to said manufacturers. I seriously doubt anyone who reads these words is incapable of making up their own minds one way or another anyway.

That said, one offer came from a woman named Lisa employed by a company called Nutrition Fix. She asked me if I would be willing to try their product and give it some traction on this site. I said primarily I was interested in anything they made that could either make me look like the men on the site, could help me get women like the ones on the site, or cure a hangover.

Within a week, a tub of powder arrived at my door along with a case of cans filled with something;

Now I’ve walked past enough GNC stores and seen pictures of big, muscly men holding tubs of stuff to know that it works, so I was excited to try it out for myself. The short version (at least as far as I understand it) is that the powder assists in muscle growth, aides in recovery time and stems fatigue by retaining nitrogen within the muscle fiber itself. Demonika is a nutrition nerd and actually did some research on the various components, finally coming to the conclusion that the Recover Pro’s claims aren’t just a bunch of Black Magic.

Of course the proof is in the pudding and after logging hundreds of miles and choking a fair portion of it down (I don’t think it tastes very good, but then again, opinions are like assholes) I can attest to at least the recovery time being cut significantly. As far as muscle growth goes, I don’t know. I can say that at this most recent Sea Otter Classic, I was gifted an XL Rapha mesh base layer which barley fits on my left arm, so maybe they’re onto something.

The stuff in the can tastes like fizzy soda, is sticky when you spill it on the floor and don’t clean it up, and makes me feel like a gym rat when I drink it in my t-back muscle shirt. It effectively makes similar claims as the tub of powder. Being the furthest possible thing from a dietician, all of the scientific rigamarole that is presented on the site means nothing to me, but I know what I like, and I know what has results, which this stuff does.

After recently finding that my resting heart rate is just slightly above that of a corpse, the fact that my general level of energy is fairly low finally makes sense. A quick shot of protein helps me to feel like what I imagine everyone else always feels like, and the claims that this assists in recovery after a hard ride (or several easy ones) are now believable.

However I’ve yet to test this on a hangover, and I still look like shit with no clothes on.

The second box of product came from the good people at Honey Stinger and contained their Stinger Waffles and Energy Chews;
Two things I am a sucker for and will fight to the death over are cookies and candy, so I was interested in trying their products. Well, actually in the sake of full disclosure, for the first time last weekend I tried some of the chews and did several fist pumps in the air at their awesomeness. I had put Honey Stinger’s offer for product out of my head, so when a big box arrived from them on Wednesday, I ran around in several tight circles in my kitchen singing my ‘I love candy’ song.

I’ve tried an array of various energy chews, and aside from those made by GU, I’ve not been terribly impressed. These however are so good they’d make Willy Wonka cry, and if I don’t miss my guess, all of mine will be eaten by the time I’m done typing this sentence.

The waffles are basically delicious little cookies that are as good as something I might bake at home (which isn’t saying much, because most of what I bake as home, I screw up) and will, at least until I exhaust my supply, inevitably pull me from the clutches of my catastrophically dizzying and occasional ride postponing bonks.

So there you have it. My honest-to-Dog truth about an array of product I got for free, and which I probably won’t again.

In news kind of relating to food, (only inasmuch as the following story took place where people buy it), as I had concluded writing the above words, I was scanning around my Facebook page and came across a post that was penned by this fellow;

Photo courtesy of Tiffany Remy.

He wrote;

“I was in the store getting food, and this dude maybe in is 20s clearly worked out/bodybuilder type, came up near the carts and said “man, you’re big. How can you live with yourself?” And I said back “easy, ride 1 to 2 hours on a pedal bike, wearing a helmet and spandex every day burning the miles up and losing hundreds of pounds with friends.” He walked away.”

Ernest and I have been virtual friends for some time and I am always taken by his passion and the support given to him by his compatriots. It appears as though he is as committed to building his fitness, losing weight and spending the kind of quality time with friends that we all cherish. In Ernest’s case however, I’m sure that he works harder than most of us can imagine, which ads just an extra layer of respect.

Upon reading about this exchange, I wanted to jump through the computer, travel back in time and publicly shame that kid for having the nerve to say such a thing.

Ernest is indeed one of us, and I am proud to have him in our ranks.

Wrapping up today’s post, I wanted to include a bit about a big-timey bikecycle athletic pursuit which took place in the southern part of The Golden State just last week. Or two weeks ago. Or something… I can’t remember.

Anyway, the flyer for said event looked like this;

Obviously I didn’t attend, as that would have meant I’d have to leave my house, and probably put shoes on. However Alain, who not only is the Frontman at Maximo Supremo residents Spy Optics, but has been my point person throughout the planning and execution of the BWR ride.

I’d asked Alain for a simple description of his experiences which he concluded with brevity;

“My colon and spleen are only now returning to normal function… Somewhere on the road around Bandy Canyon. I miss them.”

Hard men and women don’t need colons or spleens. They let their anger do the digesting.

On that note, I’m gonna make like a banana and get the hell out of here. After all, these snacks aren’t gonna eat themselves nor will my money throw itself at the computer.

They’re both going to need some assistance.

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Leave a Reply

27 Responses to “Throw your money here.”

  1. pedalman April 27, 2012 at 5:29 am #

    I sometimes do a shot of whiskey with a Honey Stinger Gold chaser. The whiskey aids in liver growth and the Stinger Gold speeds up the getting drunk process.

  2. Keith Earickson April 27, 2012 at 5:30 am #

    I’ll take some of the yella, and don’t get cheap on me.

  3. John April 27, 2012 at 5:37 am #

    Take one Honey Stinger waffle, add some Nutella, then add a second Honey Stinger waffle to make a sandwich. Best with hot coffee on a cold day after a long ride.

    • d*pow April 27, 2012 at 10:21 am #

      john,

      I will try this snack this weekend. It sounds totally awesome.

      dpow

      • jacs April 29, 2012 at 7:39 pm #

        Are you placing the ‘sandwich’ on top of the mug of coffee to warm up the fillings like one may do with a stroopwafle?

  4. Gian April 27, 2012 at 5:38 am #

    Ernest in a cross race? More of a man than I.

  5. TPC April 27, 2012 at 6:01 am #

    What kind of fuck head insults a stranger at the checkout counter? Had I witnessed that there would have been a wailing and a gnashing of teeth by the time the cops got there. To me, it is guys like Ernest that make our sport great.

    Living in Florida, I don’t always put on shoes before leaving the house but there is a note pinned to the door reminding me to put on pants.

  6. Mic April 27, 2012 at 6:16 am #

    Rock on, Ernest!

  7. Loudass, Esq. April 27, 2012 at 7:04 am #

    Finally, someone I can beat in a cyclocross race!

    • Stevil April 27, 2012 at 7:23 am #

      Don’t be so sure.

    • Stephen May 1, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

      WTF!? A loving shove into the barriers for you.

  8. Doug P April 27, 2012 at 7:32 am #

    Ernest is big. And has cojones to match. Ernest you da MAN. This weekend it’s 80° and margarita season starts, so I’m gonna go get me some Honey Stingers. They’ll go great with tequila.

  9. Eric April 27, 2012 at 8:11 am #

    I must say that the Honey Stinger waffles are tastey but why did they have to put the one-ball-wonders photo on the package? I have a real hard time buying anything endorsed by the Lance… irregardless of yammy-ness.

  10. Virgil Mutha Fuckin Rufus April 27, 2012 at 8:37 am #

    Ernest is Boss. The best part as the weight comes off he is going to get faster and faster and stronger and stronger. He might be a little bit larger than most but I bet you when he drops more weight he will kick most “fit” peoples asses.
    Stevil the honey stingers are yummy; but crap, opening that package while riding is like a tug-a-war match with a pit bull sometimes.

  11. Sean April 27, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    Thanks for sharing Ernest’s story! It’s nice to read about courageous people that go after the things they want to achieve.

  12. Andy April 27, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    It’s taken me 5 years to loose 100 lbs through cycling and eating less waffles (carefully countered by drinking more beer). This site, and the loose community that it represents make me want to ride more, farther… and sometimes even faster. I imagine Ernest feels the same. I have no doubt that he’ll look a very different man in a few years time, with more self determination than most skinny people will ever need know.

  13. Rick April 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm #

    Ernest, rent the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Might provide some inspiration.

  14. Nived April 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

    The waffles and Chews are super good and keep you going even if you have been sitting on your left had before your work out.. =

  15. Largo April 28, 2012 at 6:14 am #

    Careful with them thar supplements hombre, next thing you know you’ll be watching Jersey Shore and perusing Flex on-line.

  16. ggdub April 28, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    People like Ernest and Sir Kinevil are the reason I still ride. Never stop despite what some assholes will say.

    Keep on ruining it for everybody.

  17. Ty Shelton April 29, 2012 at 12:53 am #

    Ernest? Are you sure? I thought that was Lance at last weeks Austin Cross.

  18. Mollie April 30, 2012 at 9:21 am #

    Proof is in the pudding? What the hell does that mean, anyway?
    http://youtu.be/TVApHh5Rax4

    • Stevil May 1, 2012 at 9:50 am #

      Thank you for this Mollie. I have to admit, he does make a very good point.

      • Willem May 1, 2012 at 11:30 am #

        Yeah, good luck showing that to the good will hunting!

  19. lauren April 30, 2012 at 10:22 pm #

    best product reviews i’ve ever read. do more please.

    • Stevil May 1, 2012 at 9:47 am #

      Thank you. I will whenever I get stuff that warrants reviewing.

  20. Big Sid May 9, 2012 at 11:17 am #

    Thanks Stevil for sharing the Ernest story. Big respect to the both of you from the land of the Heather and Whisky.