Regurgitation Nation.

Belly up to the table, as we partake of yet another feast of the unimportant.


Without wasting any time we’ll get right down to business.

First things first- you might recall in Monday’s post, PDX area honch and all around solid character Mat Barton recently sustained extremely serious injuries while engaging in some short track hijinx. To assist in defraying some of his swiftly mounting medical costs, his friends there are having a raffle this coming Tuesday. If you happen to work in the bike industry in any capacity or perhaps simply have a new Thompson seat post in your parts box you’d be willing to part with, please send it on, and rest easy knowing that you are helping out a friend.

Matt Case
C/O Cyclone Bicycle Supply
2050 NW Vaughn St
Portland, Or. 97209

On behalf of Mat, his friends and his family, I thank you.

In other news, from former Bay Area resident and current fancy pants academic Dayton Crites, we get notice that he is putting his brain to use in ways other than trying to scam free drinks or act out revenge plots on his housemates;

“Now, first off Stevil – I recognize that you’re not a ‘hucker’ type. Frankly, neither am I, but I do feel like i’m flying when I get a wheel 3” off the ground. And I love riding purpose built mountain bike trails, bike parks, pump tracks, and the like.

After riding Valmont (in boulder-where-they-take-cyclocross-seriously) bike park last summer, and seeing entire families, from 3 year olds on striders, kids on BMX flowing the jumps, dads on trail bikes grinning through the pump track, and moms leading daughters through skills loops, it struck me that nothing has the potential to expand the positive reach of off road riding and cycling in general like a well-designed mountain bike park;

So I thought I’d make my master’s thesis all about that. Hooray over-education. End result though, is teaming up with IMBA for a survey effort to understand bike park design/development & planning. If you’d like to share your thoughts and encourage your readers to share theirs, I’d be stoked to have a few more responses to add to the data pool.

When I’m done swimming in the data pool, and dry off with a trail ride or two, I’ll try to make a hip, cool infographic to share with you and your readers to share what I found. I know you like pictures too, so I attached a picture of site research (awesome) and desk work (necessary).

– Dayton

ps – I should probably give you the survey link & mention that it’s fun, and shouldn’t take the literate among us more than 5 minutes. We waste more time than that arguing about wheel sizes and gear ratios.

pps – They are both here or here

I like to think that Dayton came to the right place with his inspiration, and certainly if anyone has thoughts on the matter, chime in on the comments section or get ahold of him directly.

Secondly, and most importantly… I hucked once. I think you’ve got me all wrong.

From Curtis I got word (but no photos, so I’ve added liberties), that the first AHTBM jersey acted as both inspiration, and infuriation on a recent ride. I should also note that there is course language dead ahead, so if you are reading this aloud on company time, do so in a mumbly way;

“Eric hit up a short list to see who wanted to ride south to Big Sur. Jeromy and I were the only ones, so we set it up accordingly: take a car to Carmel, ride south to Bixby Bridge, cut inland for some hellacious fireroad action, then pop back onto 1 and head south to camp at Kirk Creek. Eric is such a good friend that he didn’t tell us until we were about 20 miles into the ride that google earth pegged our first day at around 8k ft of climbing;

All I can say is that it was bitchin. The inland route was one of those sketchy fun fireroads that winds back and forth along the ridges before dropping into 20% switchbacks… designed prior to GPS, when a couple dudes would stand on a hillside, then hit a bottle of whiskey before saying something like, “fuck it, let’s just put the road over there somewhere.”

Unfortunately, Eric’s knee started giving him some trouble (dude blew out both knees jumping moto years ago and still needs to get one rebuilt) and he was in some pain by the time we got to Kirk Creek. Jer and I drank heavily while Eric ate some whackcountry kitchen dehydrated food, got sick and threw it up (that shit is nasty, btw) and then went to bed completely miserable;

The next day we decided to avoid the longer inland route so we could save some time and legs. We got on the road, and things were going pretty well. Then it started raining. First a mist, then a drizzle, and eventually it was really fucking raining on us… and it stayed like that for a couple hours. Just imagine cars buzzing by within a foot of your shoulder while you try to stay on the white line with a 70lb bike… in a heavy rain with crosswinds. It was a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, the weather was really fuckin with Eric’s knee, so when we reached our lunch spot, Eric was talking about calling a ride to pick him up. He was wearing your gray AHTBM jersey (I was in the blue one, it was like we were sponsored or something) so as we were getting back on the road I said, “Eric, you can’t quit… even your jersey says ‘I’d rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in.'”

“Fuck this stupid fucking slogan and fuck this stupid fucking jersey,” he yelled. And then I laughed, and then he realized what he had just said and laughed, and we slugged out the rest of the day like fucking champs.

The end.”

I liked that story and I would like to thank the participants for their time and consideration. I would also like to thank myself for putting together such an epic visual and auditory package.

Regarding that particular jersey, I would also like to mention that the Big Cheese at Voler Customs and I spoke on the phone the other day and they have a new program which is about to be in place which will allow folks to get either Black Market jersey I’ve released (save for a couple of updated design changes) for a low, low price and any time they want with just a five day turn around.

This is very exciting news for a number of reasons, the least of which is it means I no longer have to do those blasted pre-orders.

They make me break out into cold sweats and strangle anyone who happens to be nearby. This is especially ill-timed when I’m in the company of police officers or people high on bath salts, or both.

Anyway, keep your eyes peeled to the site for updates on the matter and we can all look sharp together.

Speaking of which, Dave made contact in order to let us know that at least he did his part;

“Hey Stevil,
I did my best to represent at the Test of Endurance 50 yesterday, sporting the old school kit. While I wasn’t DFL overall, I believe I may have locked it up for my Cat. While things got pretty surreal at the end, I don’t remember the forest ever looking like the pic, which seems like there should be technicolor gnomes in the background somewhere;
Actually, after mile 40 I was probably talking to the gnomes, as I recall being amused when I noted that I was not only speaking to individual parts of my body, but also using the third person. Beer tasted pretty good from the finisher pint glass, to be sure.

Keep up the good work.
Dave”

It is the utmost importance that the readership looks good, so I don’t have to.

Finally, and in closing, Billy got in touch regarding some goings on in Minneapolis West day after tomorrow;

“Stevil,

Here is a bit of info I thought might be worthy of passing along. This Friday at River City some of our favorite people will be making the bicycle related party happen in celebration of pants. That’s right pants. You are invited to come make said party, though I bet you would just end up at a naked lady establishment and I would end up with a 2 day hangover.
Included is a fancy internet picture and a Spacebook event link.
“Our power moments are hour moments”

Here is the invite/flyer for the party on Friday;

Also here is the Facebook event that I created. If you could get the word out all over the place about it that would be the jam.”

Naked lady establishment? Two day hangover? He says things like he thinks he knows me.

So there you have it. All bits of news you can use concluding with some info about Levi’s Commuter line, which is not only good for riding bikes in, but in a pinch, wicks in times of spontaneous explosive vomiting.

Monty Python would be proud.

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Leave a Reply

17 Responses to “Regurgitation Nation.”

  1. Latarian June 20, 2012 at 5:47 am #

    Dude! Awesome news about the easability of ordermicating AHTBMwear.

    Any chance of you doing AHTBM jammies? Or maybe a AHTBM snuggie (not the act involving locker rooms, jocks and victims, but the blanket type thing)?

  2. Dean June 20, 2012 at 6:28 am #

    Bst Pst Evr.

  3. cary June 20, 2012 at 6:41 am #

    that Dayton Crites guy is taking all the stupid out of cycling.

  4. Ken June 20, 2012 at 6:46 am #

    Gotta love the bike parks… community facilities just like any other (i.e. aquatic centers, ball diamonds, tennis courts, etc.) My favorite aspect of pro design on said facilities is the something for everyone concept, which allows for progression, hence more riders with developed skills, hence more demand for facilities in the future. Not that there’s anything drastically wrong with debris-filled 30 ft. doubles where the launching lips just shy of vertical are 7 feet above the ground, it’s just kinda hard to get there without a little well thought out design for progression. I said launching lips.

  5. Marc June 20, 2012 at 8:01 am #

    I was (ignorantly) luke warm on bike parks until I started going with my 3 year old on his strider bike. A well designed park has something for just about everyone and the more butts we can get on bike seats the better.

  6. bikemike June 20, 2012 at 8:04 am #

    Shit, I was in Switzerland last winter & slid on snow all around the Matterhorn for a couple of weeks. I had no idea the original was in California. I could have saved a shit-ton of travel. (as well as $)

    The more you know….

    • warthog June 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm #

      Somewhere in Anahiem as I recall…

  7. Biggs June 20, 2012 at 8:20 am #

    I like my Levi’s Commuter 511 Cropped pants, but holy crap does cat hair love them more… you can’t tell were the pants stop and my hairy legs start. That is all…

  8. Matty D June 20, 2012 at 10:45 am #

    Whoa, Dayton has hair now, who new?

  9. shovelfoot June 20, 2012 at 11:59 am #

    Somebody tell that Dayton guy the last thing I need is another fucking infographic telling me how cool biking is.

    • Dayton June 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm #

      Everyone gets an infographic that tells them biking is 100.3 % as cool as they thought. Everybody except shovelfoot. He gets an infographic detailing the difficulties of placing spade-shaped feet inside of varied footwear types.

  10. curtis June 20, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    One of your pics is terribly inaccurate. I would never be caught dead drinking Heineken. Everything else is spot-on, well done.

    This weekend we’re camping in a hidden spot, next month we’re doing Big Sur. I am bound and determined to hit singletrack with the touring bike. I will try to take pics when I fall and am crushed by my bicycle.

    • heavy d June 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

      Flat-assed piss drunk on twelve beers? My faith in humanity is utterly shattered. For shame.

  11. nowheels June 20, 2012 at 9:47 pm #

    Will Voler let you model on the partners page?
    http://www.voler.com/partners

    • Stevil June 21, 2012 at 5:38 am #

      They really should. I’ll get my lawyers to talk to theirs.

  12. @tiberculosis June 22, 2012 at 5:28 am #

    Yay C4amP5!

  13. Nate June 23, 2012 at 10:52 pm #

    Damn you and your WSATU