Monday, Schmunday.

partytime

The above image reminds me of a house rule, and though it doesn’t necessarily relate to either Mondays, or Schmundays, I feel compelled to describe it to you now.

If you should ever come across a compatriot who has been over-served and has commenced a booze induced slumber, if they happen to have their shoes off, you cannot touch them. Think of their shoes being off as an invisible forcefield protecting them against you and all of your Sharpie related shenanigans.

However, if they have their shoes on, this can be taken as a sign that they had no intention of actually falling asleep where they lie, should be considered a rookie in the game, and ought to be dealt with accordingly.

Armed with this knowledge, I now expect all who reads these words to go forth into the world and make magic.

Now then- Being all bright-eyed and bushy tailed as we undoubtedly are, let us now get right into the mix.

Have most folks heard about this here Sven Nys documentary?

I hadn’t.

And though I’m quite taken with the subject matter, and what will undoubtedly an amazing visual effort, I can’t get past this guy’s foamy mouth corners;
foamy mouth
And also that he has kind of an Ernest Borgnine thing going for him;

Anyway, I realized while watching the trailer, that foamy mouth corners bug the shit out of me.

I’d always known it, I just hadn’t fully realized it yet.

However, it’s with this screen grab;
foamy2
-That I will segue into the next topic.

Specifically being one regarding lunatics.

Have you heard about the hit and run in New Mexico, the offender in which was stopped and held at gun point by a good samaritan?
hitandrun
He was heard apologizing, saying he didn’t mean to run over the bicyclist.

That’s cool, bro. We’ve all been there.

So, I reckon it’s a safe bet that just about every single person reading these words right here have found themselves in a situation where someone smacks us, throws a bottle at us, swerves at us, or whatever, and we so wish we had a bald headed guardian angel to chase the suspect down and hold them until police arrived. And perhaps even (if time allowed), rough them up a tiny bit.

I certainly know I have, but I can’t shake the feeling that the fella with the gun could give less of a shit about a potentially grievously injured bicyclist, as he does getting the opportunity to be ‘a good guy with a gun’.

I mean, he didn’t stop the eleventeeth hundred mass shooting so far this year, but with his sidearm, he stopped an injustice, and after all, isn’t that why God made guns to begin with?

I realize I’m making a lot of assumptions, which we all know only makes an ass out of you, (not me. Just you.) -But I’ve been around long enough that I can trust my instincts, and they tell me everything I guess about this scenario is right as rain.

With that we’ll move on from people who don’t like bicycle, to bicycles who apparently would rather not have anything to do with people, as proven by this shot snapped by local photo ace Greg Beliera at last weekend’s Giro di San Francisco;
greg-beliera
Timing is everything, and clearly this was a matter of Greg being in the right place, at the right time.

I suppose the exact opposite could be said about those in and around the depicted chaos.

In other news of speedcycles, CD sent on the following bit of news regarding Froome’s recent declaration regarding the Vuelta a España alone;
peniscola
Of course that news wasn’t so noteworthy, as the fact the report was filed from the lovely costal town of Peñiscola, Spain, which is hilarious if you have the mentality of a twelve year old boy.

Which I do.

In closing, and not related to any of the above, Robert got in touch with an example of absolute sacrilege;
korean-screaming-chicken
The old adage comes to mind of “just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do something.”

With the vision of that debacle now seared into the recesses of my brain, all I can do to numb the pain is drink until I’m handsome.

And reader be notified- Should you find me passed out with my shoes on, you know what to do.
newlittleskull

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Leave a Reply

9 Responses to “Monday, Schmunday.”

  1. Jose September 12, 2016 at 6:46 am #

    When I saw the Kia, the first thing that came into my mind was Turd Furguson.

  2. JP September 12, 2016 at 7:55 am #

    Turd Furguson FTW, Jose. Also that SF crash damn. This is why I like heavy steel it won’t fly so far.

  3. tippycup September 12, 2016 at 9:09 am #

    Foaming at the mouth but ya gotta admit…an old redneck looking farmer knows who a pro cycle crossing racer guy is!!! I dont care what country ur in, very cool! And …..HODALA wins SS class this weekend…it continues.

  4. Court September 12, 2016 at 11:06 am #

    As an owner of a Kia, I’m very confused. They’re great, reliable, boring cars that fit tall people comfortably. That’s all.

    Oh man, I’m so confused.

  5. pedalman September 12, 2016 at 12:38 pm #

    The crash pic reminds me how much more I like bikes with the annoying rider part removed. I knew there was a reason I always party barefoot

  6. CD September 12, 2016 at 5:59 pm #

    Penis cola? Yes, please. One big glass, with ice, and two straws for me and my friend Steve.

  7. this blog is hysterical nonsense September 13, 2016 at 1:51 pm #

    What are you basing this on?

    ” I can’t shake the feeling that the fella with the gun could give less of a shit about a potentially grievously injured bicyclist, as he does getting the opportunity to be ‘a good guy with a gun’.”

    Do you have an issue with him intervening in this case to hold the driver until police arrived?

    “I mean, he didn’t stop the eleventeeth hundred mass shooting so far this year, but with his sidearm, he stopped an injustice, and after all, isn’t that why God made guns to begin with?”

    And this makes you sound smug and bombastic:

    “I realize I’m making a lot of assumptions, which we all know only makes an ass out of you, (not me. Just you.) -But I’ve been around long enough that I can trust my instincts, and they tell me everything I guess about this scenario is right as rain.”

    • Stevil September 13, 2016 at 3:20 pm #

      It was simply a call based on my own personal experiences and observations. Will you now tell me that my own personal experiences and observations are incorrect? And no, I have no issue whatsoever. Whenever this site gets a plug somewhere (I assume BSNYC, based on a similar flavored anonymous comment over there) and an influx of new traffic comes in, I always enjoy the random anonymito taking the opportunity to say my site is hysterical nonsense, and that I sound smug and bombastic. Thanks for playing.

      • Cory Blackwood September 14, 2016 at 7:31 am #

        This person is a gun nutter who I assume found the site because of this article, and came to comment.

        As you know, I know a bit about gun nuts on the internet…