I’ve got a back stock of entries, but for now I’m just staying busy being pretty.

Yearbook Yourself 2000

In the coming days I will have reports concerning bike tricks, short bus gold medal winners, big knifes, old ladies, introspection and the sexy sassiness that makes the world go round.
For today I just want to sit back with my pipe clenches between my teeth, my hands clapped across the front of my red satin smoking jacket, and relish in the accomplishment of finally finding my ass with both hands.
However, in response to several queries I’ve received these last 24 hours or so..
Yes, I will soon have stickers.
Yes, shortly there after I will have t-shirts.
No, I haven’t yet gotten a shot for my ‘rash’.
Yes, I now have a RSS feed.
No, I don’t know what that means.
Yes, I will be at Interbike.
No, I won’t shave my arms.
Yes, I still love Swobo.
Yes, I once made 25 dollars french kissing another man.
Yes, it feels good to be my own boss.
Yes, my boss is a dick and should give me a raise.
Yes, I will eventually have a line of products that you can’t live without.
No, one of those products won’t be a Hacky Sack.
Yes, Loudass really is both loud and an ass.

And finally, yes, despite all of my shortcomings, I somehow have developed a more incredible audience than I ever in my wildest dreams imagined could have been possible.

I’ll see you on Friday.


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Leave a Reply

35 Responses to “I’ve got a back stock of entries, but for now I’m just staying busy being pretty.”

  1. morgan August 26, 2009 at 11:45 am #

    Glad you’re back.

  2. Morgan August 26, 2009 at 11:59 am #

    Me too!

  3. kurtz August 26, 2009 at 12:18 pm #


  4. hal August 26, 2009 at 12:35 pm #

    Glad you’re back. Why the change in venue?
    If you are continuing to report on bacon-related news, just ran across this tidbit worth covering: http://consumerist.com/5342699/kfc-has-a-bacon-sandwich-that-uses-fried-chicken-as-bread.

  5. Loudass, Esq. August 26, 2009 at 2:09 pm #

    Ass is the new black. Get with it.

  6. Mr. Grotto August 26, 2009 at 2:23 pm #

    Eff yes. Emptiness has been subdued.

  7. fomenter August 26, 2009 at 2:26 pm #

    You ever been in a cockpit before?
    You ever seen a grown man naked?
    Stevil, have you ever been in a…in a Turkish prison?

  8. Nick August 26, 2009 at 3:00 pm #

    You’re gonna sell stuff? I hope it’s all made of burlap sacks and hand sewn by kids in sweat shops. Too bad you won’t be at interbike east…

  9. Bob C August 26, 2009 at 3:15 pm #

    So happy you’re alive and well. Keep crushing it.

  10. cary August 26, 2009 at 3:51 pm #

    I’m buying in to the rim.

  11. Mrodaddy August 26, 2009 at 6:41 pm #

    Another happy lurker….

  12. Chezedog Leafblower August 26, 2009 at 6:47 pm #

    $25? I know some motorcycle enthusiasts that do it just to annoy the other tavern patrons…

  13. frankenbike August 26, 2009 at 7:04 pm #

    Soooo… it’s still gonna be wierd if I run into you on the street and I’m wearing some Swobo and you’re rockin’ an AHTBM shirt. Okay, I need a new shirt.

  14. LJ August 26, 2009 at 8:59 pm #

    I swear I saw loudass in Mill Valley, but I think it was just a wonderful mirage.
    Good to have you back, though I was putting the time I usually spent reading your spiels to good use.

  15. Slappy August 27, 2009 at 12:11 am #

    What about shaving in Durango?
    that might be fun.. a big spiral of joy, right up your head.. hoorAY!

  16. Lucky August 27, 2009 at 2:57 am #

    Don’t you think you’re being a little hasty on the Hacky Sack proposal? I mean, let’s look at the big picture here, Stevil… May I call you Stevil?

  17. j.w. August 27, 2009 at 6:03 am #

    a nice pliable hackysack wouldn’t be a bad thing, jus’ sayin’
    glad your back stevil

  18. mark August 27, 2009 at 6:11 am #

    Way glad to have you back, mornings are morning again.

  19. Casey August 27, 2009 at 6:29 am #

    Glad you’re back. Work didn’t feel the same without you catching me up on current events. Keep up the good work!

  20. Snakebite August 27, 2009 at 8:58 am #

    So, does this mean your not cutting your own hair anymore?

  21. El Grande Sporty Pirate August 27, 2009 at 9:26 am #

    Being fired from your job because you have a rash is illegal. You should sue. The silver lining here is that now you’re free to do those cycling bandannas with the little tails you’ve always talked about.

  22. deathrider August 27, 2009 at 11:20 am #

    old sarcastic jaded bike ridein punks forever!

  23. tony August 27, 2009 at 2:03 pm #

    Sweet, glad you’re back, though, I have to say, you were only gone for a couple of weeks, so I hardly noticed and just thought you went on a vacation or something; sorry. Anyway, I look forward to you posting regularly again.
    BTW, RSS stands for Real Stupid Shit. Be sure to tell your friends.

  24. Hoss August 27, 2009 at 2:16 pm #

    Put me on the list for soap on a rope.

  25. Levi Johnston August 27, 2009 at 2:25 pm #

    I once made 25 dollars French kissing another man’s Hacky Sack. Welcome back.

  26. corte de pelo August 27, 2009 at 2:31 pm #

    I hope AHTBM will continue HTABM’s long standing affiliation with Joe Parkin’s hair. Glad you’re back.

  27. åaron August 27, 2009 at 2:57 pm #

    whatever you do Stevil, make sure you don’t follow the hipster scene with your product line. That my friend is the way of the past…

  28. chiggins August 27, 2009 at 3:20 pm #

    Oh, maybe it wasn’t a dream.

  29. JP August 27, 2009 at 3:33 pm #

    How ’bout a hairy hacky-sack. You can call it Hairy Satchel. You can use your arm hair when you start shaving it off…..

  30. workforbeer August 27, 2009 at 6:31 pm #

    drinking a cold beer in honor of your return

  31. Tim Jackson- The Masiguy August 27, 2009 at 11:05 pm #

    The cup of love runneth over and spills onto the floor. Thankfully it isn’t bong water or anything gross like that.
    Stevil, my wild and wooly brother, the sun has once again risen and the birds do once again chirp and tweet and do the birdy things they do… and all because you are back here in this space.
    I say “yay”.

  32. Latarian August 28, 2009 at 7:05 am #

    It’s fun to do bad things. Keep up the good work!

  33. bikemike August 28, 2009 at 10:46 am #

    hooray! soooooooo glad you’re back. it sucks to actually do work during the day. bookmarked & awaiting instructions!

  34. carl August 29, 2009 at 1:51 pm #

    Dude, no Hacky Sack!

  35. N@ August 31, 2009 at 12:54 pm #

    Hockey Socks