What a long strange trip it’s being.

I’m back and daddy’s hungry.

Firstly, for those of you who have held out for our return into one another’s loving arms, I present to you this;
and this;
and this;
and of course, this;

(*Not the original video that appeared here, but a good one nonetheless.)

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ll start by saying that I can’t begin describing the emotions I have experienced as of late. With friends and acquaintances alike, there is a wild cosmic transition happening all around me. People have had profound life changes heaped upon them by the boat load, and everywhere I look, life as it was a few months ago has shape-shifted into an almost unrecognizable form.

For my part, one minute I was gainfully employed by an incredible little company, and the next I’m sitting here before you, yet again, with my hat in hand and heart on sleeve filled with so much piss, vinegar, sugar, spice, snips, snails and puppy dog tails that I’m on the verge of dropping a proverbial deuce.
Truth be told, it’s what has transpired in between those two aforementioned moments that is remarkable, and perhaps with a little bit of perspective at some point will be a tellable tale, but at this juncture I can only say that it feels pretty damn good to be back in your faces again.

So with that being said, why doesn’t somebody drop the needle on the record so that we can once again get back to business?
As you can well imagine, in my time away I’ve received the standard array of gems, and with every one that came in, my mind swelled with the options of what to do with it. It looks like the time is now to start doling them out.

I throw the words ‘love’ and ‘hate’ around with alarming frequency. So much so that one might assume they’d eventually loose their meaning.

To me they don’t, and there pretty much isn’t anything about this video that I don’t whole heartedly love;

Except possibly perhaps A) that it’s not me, and B) that it’s not real.

You can’t kill a boy’s dreams though.

However, if you subscribe to Ted Nugent’s line of thinking, you can kill a lot of stuff, and what better way to preserve it than with crappy taxidermy, or what I affectionately refer to as crapidermy®?

I suppose while we’re on the topic of The Nuge, I should include this excerpt from an article that Desiree sent to me;
“Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a French journalist, who was also an animal rights activist.

The discussion came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, ‘What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, ‘Are you my friend?’ or is it ‘Are you the one who killed my brother?’
Nugent replied, ‘Deer aren’t capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French.’

The interview ended.”

Even ‘Wango Tango’ wasn’t an awesome enough song to wipe The Nuge’s douchebaggery clean.

Lets see here.. What else do I have in my sleeve? Well, the enigma knows world wide as GeneO gave me a call from a hospital bed recently describing the tube that was sticking out of his chest, which was the result of a rib breaking, scapula fracturing, lung puncturing high speed crash.
With big daddy going dooooowwwwn, and being laid up, this of course means that the peeps in the the shop are gonna have to hold the fort, but considering the fact that that when he is around is something akin to a ship being captained by a crazy person, I think they’ll probably be doing ok for the time being.
But all of that aside, those of us on this side of the fence (me) wish him a speedy recovery.

Being without a steady form of income has forced me into all kinds of creative measures at staying afloat. Aside from my burgeoning side business of prostitution, I had the opportunity to spread my wares across hill and dale at a recent bike swap in Oakland’s rapidly transforming Mosswood Park;
Though I walked away with a wad of cash, I was struck by the absolutely staggering number of kids who were just there looking for the fixed gear stuff. At any other swap I’ve ever attended, there at least was equal attendance of folks with road, cross, and/or mountain items for sale, but at this gathering you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting at least three dozen separate piles of Velocity rims, double straps, lock rings and so fourth.

‘Who’s the old guy with the single speed cross frame, Ruby forks, wool jerseys and knobby tires?’
Who, indeed.

Fortunately for me, I was reeling from such an epicly blistering hangover that all I could do was basic math, and sweat a bunch, so no one ended up getting caught in my cross hairs.

Regardless, it was great to see so many fresh faces in the bike scene, and a genuine enthusiasm I’ve not experienced in a long time.

In honor of the locale where my money was made, I stashed my bank roll in a pill bottle for safe keeping, and then shoved it in the crotch of my Y-fronts.
As soon as I arrived home I sent an email to Oakland’s park district services with a new slogan for the park that I’ve gotten a lot of milage from recently, “Mosswood Park– It’s not just for getting murdered in anymore.”

I really do think I have a bright future in wordsmithing.

On that note, my oh my has alot changed in the world since I’ve been away. There have been strides made in the art world, huge steps back in the business of health care, scientific breakthroughs, bike races won and lost… A veritable cornucopia of information and events that I’ve missed out on reporting about, not the least of which was the completion of my new boat.

I will try with all of my might to get back up to speed at reporting on the best and the worst that our world has to offer, even if it involves tracing the bold steps that the historians featured the ‘Drunk History’ series have taken;

After all, I do what it takes to convey information as promptly and factually as I can.

Trust me. I’m here for you.

Before I close this one out, I have to offer my very most profound thanks to a host of individuals who if it were not for them, I would be nowhere closer to having this website complete that we all are to becoming millionaires. I can’t begin to name names (mainly to protect the innocent) but primarily because the list is long, and they know who they are.
So to those who shall remain nameless, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Welp.. Here we are at the end of the first post of the rest of our lives, and hoping that it is far from the last. I’ve truly missed doing this with you, and am looking forward to a long and healthy position as a merchant for this bazaar of the damned.

From today forward, let us join hands in recognition of this- our alternative form of commerce, information exchange, and communication…

From this day forward let us all hail The Black Market.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

101 Responses to “What a long strange trip it’s being.”

  1. dow August 24, 2009 at 8:05 pm #

    all hail. the world is complete again. welcome back, stevil.

  2. CFO August 24, 2009 at 8:22 pm #

    I wept openly upon reading this…Welcome back!!!

  3. Troy August 24, 2009 at 8:29 pm #

    Welcome back Steve, site bookmarked and anticipating the updates. Way to roll with the changes.

  4. biggweasel August 24, 2009 at 8:34 pm #

    And betwixt the collective struggles that many are experiencing, raise that leg so as to place (keep) one’s foot on the this world’s unholy monitor.
    Said another way, What would Lemmy do?
    See you in hell, and Durango before that.

  5. Robulus Caesar August 24, 2009 at 8:40 pm #

    Finally. Something on the internet that makes sense! Welcome Back.

  6. hillary Waddell August 24, 2009 at 8:52 pm #

    glad youre back!

  7. zombykiller August 24, 2009 at 8:53 pm #

    Love you Steve, but VIVE LA NUGE….

  8. prolly August 24, 2009 at 8:57 pm #

    Nice man! Good to see you getting ‘er done.

  9. meligrosa August 24, 2009 at 9:17 pm #

    lets get a beer. welcome. missed your posts punk

  10. smedberg August 24, 2009 at 10:00 pm #

    I love StevilKinevil and I’m not alone. I saw a sticker of a cupcake with crossbones on it today and it made me think of you. Then I smiled. Thanks for the heads up on the change, and welcome home.

  11. mattoidbunko August 24, 2009 at 10:19 pm #

    Mmmmmmmm…more bacon…

  12. Cousin Fisher August 24, 2009 at 10:26 pm #

    there. that’s better.

  13. uma August 24, 2009 at 10:29 pm #

    *sniff sniff* No! I am NOT crying from overwhelming relief that the original radtard lives and blogs. It was the fumes from gluing tubulars. Yeah, that’s it. Fumes. Welcome back anyway. You were missed. A lot.

  14. Jim August 25, 2009 at 1:28 am #

    Stevil, great new site, but what the hell is up with your boat? What is that thing, a repurposed sex toy?

  15. Andrew August 25, 2009 at 2:38 am #

    Oh thank heavens.

  16. Newt August 25, 2009 at 2:54 am #

    My morning coffee just wasn’t the same, now….things are right in the world, welcome back Mr. Kinevil

  17. matti August 25, 2009 at 4:30 am #

    got RSS?

  18. fxdwhl August 25, 2009 at 4:35 am #

    the internet wasn’t the same without you.

  19. the jesus August 25, 2009 at 4:44 am #

    glad you’re back Stevil… my work hours were getting WAY to productive.

  20. -dan August 25, 2009 at 5:17 am #

    hipster fixie bike swap? well at least they are riding bikes.
    Nice to see you back.

  21. scott August 25, 2009 at 5:20 am #

    i thought i smelled something.
    welcome back.

  22. Georgeistotallyawesome August 25, 2009 at 5:45 am #

    The polished turd is beautiful man! Es ist ausgezeichnet!

  23. Chezedog August 25, 2009 at 5:57 am #

    Glad I found this place, at first I ended up at howtoavoidtheblackmarket.com…

  24. D*POW August 25, 2009 at 6:32 am #

    Happy Tuesday Morn to you sir! Glad that you are back, it was a looooooong couple of weeks there.

  25. Jonny Hamachi August 25, 2009 at 6:42 am #

    Hey! Nice To See Ya, Thanks For Coming.

  26. squid August 25, 2009 at 6:44 am #

    Wuzzup Stevil!!
    Good to e-See You..

  27. Matt August 25, 2009 at 7:03 am #

    Welcome back, Steve! Good luck to you! Love the site, keep it coming!

  28. cvo August 25, 2009 at 7:07 am #

    Hellz yeah dude, welcome back

  29. Sean RVA August 25, 2009 at 7:12 am #

    wondered what the hell happened to Stevil, glad your back!

  30. El Gato August 25, 2009 at 7:14 am #

    STE-vil! STE-vil! STE-vil! My thumb was getting tired and hot holding down the lighter in anticipation of your encore. Loud Metal Response please!
    El Gato

  31. samh August 25, 2009 at 7:19 am #


  32. Kevin August 25, 2009 at 7:26 am #

    Welcome back. I’ve missed your posts and was beginning to worry…

  33. Nick August 25, 2009 at 7:36 am #

    Glad to see you back.

  34. BikeLemming August 25, 2009 at 7:43 am #

    Welcome back Stevil! Keep the new posts coming and hang in there!

  35. Yrjo (aka Dutch, aka AKMoots) August 25, 2009 at 7:56 am #

    At last! All is right with the world once more!

  36. Steve I August 25, 2009 at 8:13 am #

    Hooray for our side! Huzzah!

  37. Tony August 25, 2009 at 8:19 am #

    welcome back
    2nding the request for RSS

  38. Hoss August 25, 2009 at 8:36 am #

    Awesome! AWESOME! Glad to see it back in action… ane feeling nice a fresh. Like you dunked you’re website in an icy stream dried it in the sun. You rule it!

  39. Robert August 25, 2009 at 8:42 am #

    I thought about doing a “First! LULZ” post last night, but I wanted to let the fact that you are back online settle in my belly.
    I’m a little bit gassy still, but I think the meal was worth it. Deeply satisfying even. You should start a chain restaurant of Stevils for mass consumption.

  40. Bikejuju August 25, 2009 at 8:53 am #

    My favorite cyclist of the apocalypse Stevil is back, and all is set right again in this fallen world. All hail the black market!

  41. bugno August 25, 2009 at 9:10 am #

    Man, I wondered where you had gone – repeatedly checking the old site for some sort of news. I’m happy to hear you are ok. Hang in there, you’ve got the talent to do many things!

  42. martini August 25, 2009 at 10:03 am #

    I once cooked a Buffalo Steak for the Nug. His assessment of it? “Meat! Its all good!” I guess it was a compliment of my cooking capabilities.
    Glad to have ya back Stevil.

  43. big jonny August 25, 2009 at 10:09 am #

    Go with God.

  44. tyler August 25, 2009 at 10:15 am #

    all you need is an RSS feed!

  45. Andrew Gentry Law August 25, 2009 at 10:18 am #

    Awesome! So glad you’re back, Steve. I spent the last week driving across this great country of ours. Thought of you (and GeneO) passing thru MPLS and then while climbing the Front Range and crossing thru CO on I-70. The state was lousy with bikes bikes bikes all the way between Golden and Grand Junction. Good to visit your (our?) roots.
    Best wishes, and again welcome back.

  46. Doug August 25, 2009 at 10:21 am #

    Good to read your thoughts again!!

  47. Matt August 25, 2009 at 10:47 am #

    Welcome back! Can I get a feed to push this into reader, or is it my fault for using ie?

  48. gastonomicus fantz crazznapper 4 August 25, 2009 at 10:51 am #

    back in action

  49. Ghost Rider August 25, 2009 at 10:51 am #

    Thank heavens you’re back…I knew you were alive (saw postings on B, B and B and on the Mayor of Drunkingham), but wondered if you had gotten yourself shitcanned. Still don’t know the answer, but happy to see your new presence! Will update bookmarks and blogrolls immediately.

  50. Ghost Rider August 25, 2009 at 10:53 am #

    Well, I lied about that last…no postings on Drunkingham. Didn’t want to admit I spend a lot of time at B, B and B. Such is life.

  51. D.Matt August 25, 2009 at 11:04 am #

    Awesome! Welcome back… my work days have been WAY too productive as of late.

  52. krafty August 25, 2009 at 11:10 am #

    oh my… i can finally come in from the ledge.
    welcome back.

  53. Anonymous August 25, 2009 at 12:30 pm #

    35th comment. Much like above. Really, there isn’t as interesting a corner of randomness (that all appeals to me) in the entire rest of the ‘net.
    welcome back. and thank you.

  54. Devin August 25, 2009 at 12:58 pm #

    Great to have you back! Where can I get my AHTBM tee shirt?

  55. Dave August 25, 2009 at 12:59 pm #

    Would like to open a checking account. Where do I send my cash?

  56. anon August 25, 2009 at 1:01 pm #

    Oh thank god. Welcome back.

  57. Pontius Pilate August 25, 2009 at 1:23 pm #

    Excelsior! Praise be unto both Caesar (render unto him his due…) and to The Black Market.

  58. Johnny August 25, 2009 at 1:45 pm #

    Pfew. I was starting to get a lot of work done for a while there.

  59. Loudass, Esq. August 25, 2009 at 1:50 pm #

    Stevil Knevil… I heard you was dead.

  60. El Gecko August 25, 2009 at 1:51 pm #

    Second the tshirt request and glad to see you’re back, things have been kinda dull around the internets lately

  61. Superficial Motherfucker August 25, 2009 at 2:16 pm #

    Getting what we want when we want it so bad!
    (Woo hoo! Stevil + Loaf = hawt!)

  62. Noah August 25, 2009 at 2:38 pm #

    Hey welcome back!! I third the t-shirt.

  63. The Neil August 25, 2009 at 2:38 pm #

    And I looked, and behold a Black Market: and his name that sat on him was Stevil, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
    Or something.
    Glad to have you back!

  64. N@ August 25, 2009 at 3:36 pm #

    “He’s competing with the sun for the center of the universe.”

  65. Jules August 25, 2009 at 3:48 pm #

    Good to see you back.

  66. iLL~Kid August 25, 2009 at 3:49 pm #

    Sup Steve~O, hope all is well and don’t forget cyclehawk NYC. We have madd love for you homie over here in NEW YORK CITY……. YOU ROCK KIDD!!!!!!!!!!

  67. HW Thrasher August 25, 2009 at 4:02 pm #

    I don’t get it.

  68. Bluenoser August 25, 2009 at 4:36 pm #

    Welcome back, missed you man.
    I hate boats.

  69. Nitsuj August 25, 2009 at 4:48 pm #

    The world makes sense again! Welcome back.

  70. freebird August 25, 2009 at 7:07 pm #

    Oh, thank god.
    Can you swear now?
    You have my permission to sell the Diamond Dave painting. It’s probably worth like, thousands of somethings.
    All best to you.

  71. frankenbike August 25, 2009 at 7:38 pm #

    Wordsmith? Such a moniker denotes mere craftsmanship. Perhaps Wordwizard.(Ryhmes with radtard.)

  72. reverend dick August 25, 2009 at 7:57 pm #


  73. sMiles August 25, 2009 at 8:30 pm #

    Glad you’re still with us heathens!

  74. HansInColorado August 25, 2009 at 8:34 pm #

    Good to not hear/fake see you again.

  75. Friendly Paul August 25, 2009 at 9:54 pm #

    Suck it.

  76. Crabtastic August 25, 2009 at 10:28 pm #

    So very freakin’ happy to see you are back in the ethernet. I was also starting to worry about your existence. Bookmarked!!

  77. ken e. August 26, 2009 at 12:36 am #

    excellent! that’s the only coherent statement i’ve got.

  78. reed August 26, 2009 at 4:06 am #

    step one: collect underpants!
    step two:
    step three: PROFIT!!!

  79. Morgan August 26, 2009 at 5:11 am #

    Was wondering where you’d gotten to…

  80. cookiedough August 26, 2009 at 6:51 am #

    ah, the world is set upright again

  81. irishpunk59 August 26, 2009 at 7:12 am #

    welcome back there tough guy we all in reno missed ya

  82. wakeman August 26, 2009 at 7:30 am #

    Good job Buddy.. That was fast. love wake

  83. Dan o August 26, 2009 at 8:45 am #

    You suck….
    and Dave is gay

  84. Sov August 26, 2009 at 8:56 am #

    **we thought… you wuz… a toad**

  85. rik van hooydork August 26, 2009 at 9:15 am #

    how come i’m the last to know ?

  86. pedalman August 26, 2009 at 9:54 am #

    i’m a little late to the party but is the ‘worlds best bike commute’ contest still on? p.s. welcome back stevil, it was growing noticably darker in your absense. all hail the black market!!!

  87. cougar August 26, 2009 at 10:29 am #


  88. dirtywarlock August 26, 2009 at 3:08 pm #

    Fucking finally! I’m down here in LA without a single acquaintance who knows that the best thing to put on an open wound is fecal matter. All hail.

  89. cary August 26, 2009 at 3:46 pm #

    FINALY Something on the internet I can masturbate to.

  90. AK August 27, 2009 at 7:57 am #


  91. brado August 27, 2009 at 8:17 am #

    man finally, Bacon! glad your seeds have been planted!
    hang in there Stevil… things have got to get better… there is no doubt 2009 has Fuckin’ Sucked!

  92. Badger August 27, 2009 at 11:27 am #

    FINALLY! I was starting to freak out…all truly hail.

  93. M. Clements August 27, 2009 at 2:09 pm #

    Thank God ( or dog, I forget)

  94. JP August 27, 2009 at 3:24 pm #

    OH YEAH!! BIGGER, BLACKER, and BETTER than ever! Glad to read you again, Brother! However, go easy on my Uncle Ted or he’ll whack ya and stack ya!

  95. Tony August 28, 2009 at 10:30 pm #

    Yeah, What they said!
    The universe is one again in balance.

  96. aden August 28, 2009 at 11:02 pm #

    So your back on line(cograts), but when will you pick up the slack as a penpal? My mailbox is lonely.

  97. Joe August 30, 2009 at 1:19 pm #

    Aaaahh.. Feels like home….

  98. flynn August 30, 2009 at 6:58 pm #

    the internet matters again

  99. chuckanut August 30, 2009 at 9:59 pm #

    your absence was felt. know that.

  100. vuduvgn January 29, 2010 at 9:53 am #

    The Arches of Loaf rock!

  101. spokejunky August 27, 2019 at 3:37 pm #

    \m/(><)\m/ Huzzah. Seems you need more cross countries in your future.