As I mentioned sometime previously, I have finally concluded compiling a feat of marginal mental fortitude and attentiveness. What follows are twenty one questions which I have hand picked relating to specific points made during our time together here in the Black Market. If you have paid close attention to the whimsy and wonder that has been the past fifteen months, you should have all of the answers squirreled away in your skull. If you haven’t, then I can only say, all of the answers are here.. You just have to know where to look, and rest assured, it’s not gonna be a cake walk.
So what do you get for your efforts? Why, you will receive a very limited edition hairnet helmet;
-made by the very capable hands of Dank Bags Cory himself, along with a broad selection of brand new AHTBM merchandise. So with that being said, pick up your pencils. The test begins now.
1) In the video from which the following two stills were taken, besides wearing wizard’s shirts and banging his head alone on a mountain top, what else is this young man proficient at?
2) Whose ankle is this, and how did it end up looking that way?
3) What is Jerry Only of the Misfits signing?
4) What use did I find for the little tag on the chest of my Swobo Campy polo shirt?
5) Who is this and what did he affectionately refer to his cast as?
6) What illicit goings on transpire within the confines of this warehouse?
7) Using the following image as an example, what was I hopeful that manufacturers would do at that particular year’s Interbike show;
8) Why does this even exist?
I never had an answer, and this question doesn’t count, I just want to know.
Before Red Bull had their Minidrome, and PDW was in possession of the Circulus, there existed this;
9) Who owns the block of dirt where this is constructed?
10) Who is the single person that I claimed could possibly understand how mild mannered frame builder Christopher Igleheart pictured here;
Could be friends with the generally aggravating Loudass, pictured here;
11) Who are all of these people excited to see?
12) What was cycling süperstar Jonny Sundt’s reaction when I taught him my patented ‘Portland Highfive’?
13) The person in the following image is;
A. A random individual found on the street which I happened to be lucky enough to snap a photo of.
B. A younger and much more hopeful me.
C. The former security guy from the Gilman Street Project.
D. My web guy.
E. J.P.H.N.H’s intern.
14) Who sent me this kindly invitation;
15) What is the title of my forthcoming album of smooth jazz hits?
16) According to the wall chart in the Specialized Bicycles World Headquarter’s bathroom, what color is your urine when you should seek medical attention?
17) Who is this man?
18) Who made the bold claim that “milk chocolate is the poor man’s meth”?
19) Which celebrity did I mention that Bay Area fixture Warpath resembled a ‘tore back’ version of?
20) Which professional cycling team did I send my race resume to?
*BONUS QUESTION* On the Dank Bags website how many of Corndog’s models are wearing Panasonic cycling caps?
Well, that’s it. I told you I wasn’t going to make it easy, but if you have been paying attention, it should be a no brainer.
Send all attempts to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or snail mail them in with well concealed bribes to P.O Box 686, Soquel, Ca. 95073.
In the event that no one aces this quiz, I will take the highest score I receive.
You see, at the University of AHTBM, once in a great while a C is just as good as an A.
I didn’t take the SAT’s in high school and I’m not about to go looking for a #2 pencil now. But I am selling one dollar joints in the parking lot if anyone’s interested.
1)sucking. 2)my wifes, she rolled it. 3)loaf of bread. 4)for ur pecker. 5)Chopper; pussy. 6)interpretive dance. 7)you. 8) self mutilation. 9)god. 10)god again. 11)ur mom. 12)he crapped. 13)E. 14)Dick the Bruiser. 15)suckit.
16)mauve. 17)Walling. 18)you. 19)jesus. 20)Roland-Skala. 21)don’t care.
I wear an XL hat/hairnet.
The answer to all of the questions is “Cheever.”
I was told there was going to be no math and for some reason the answer, “ass wiping” keeps coming to mind.
All have the same answer: Slayer. Except #10. Chris is just that nice of a guy.
Hmm. I have always claimed to have an uncanny ability to regurgitate useless information when called upon, especially random torque specs for bikes, but apparently I read this site drunk more than sober, cuz I can’t remember any of that stuff…
You know what’s funny about this Stevil? It is HIGHLY doubtful that you know the answers to these without looking them up, much less your “members” or “readers” or whatever the hell we are. Hell, I go back on my blog and wonder “who the hell wrote that?” and I don’t get to tear it up as much as you…
You are absolutely correct. It took me hours of going back and looking through to come up with these questions. My memory is so bad that within five minutes of posting this comment, I won’t remember that either. But after all, those hairnets are pretty badass. I couldn’t offer them up without some effort in exchange.
Might be cheaper to just pay for one. Where do I send the check? Huge goard, so I spose it’ll cost the other half of my liver.