Welcome back one and all to the AHTBM bazaar of the bizarre. Pop the top of your trousers, lean back and let’s get down to business.
It was just last week, upon my return from Southern California when I came up with the phrase “I got so drunk, I couldn’t find my face if you hit me in it.”
I’d kindly requested residual payment for any eventual use of it, because how else am I supposed to ever retire if I don’t try and capitalize on everything I can?
So my windfall began to arrive upon a recent visit to my post office box and I found this;
From my perspective, selling the use of a mediocre phrase is far better than starting some dumb Kickstarter page, and I thank the anonymito from Naples, Florida for helping me on my way.
Only eighteen more uses and I will be a seventh of the way to a super burrito.
In other news, my friends, then enemies, then friends again at Swobo recently unveiled a new campaign featuring the yin and yang of couples (if the yin was very pretty and the yang was very not) being comprised of my life partner Demonika, and yours truly;
Swobo had implemented a caption contest over on their Facebook page a few weeks ago, and while Rapha’s man about town, CD had the most votes with “How To Avoid The Hummer Wife“, RVA transplant Cary took the honors with his offering of “Making Great Clothing Is Our Business. What You Do In It Is Yours.”
This will show up here and there (probably sans black bar, much to my dismay) as they continue to pedal their wares.
I don’t see how my inclusion can possibly help them, but they’re the ones calling the shots and buying me sandwiches for my time, so who am I to question their motivation?
Continuing on… Snakehawk from Superissimo fame made the contact to give any and all who are interested a quick shout about their newest wares;
I still have to get around to doing some awesome things for you. I will. I really will. I’m a slow-twitch muscle when it comes to checking shit off of my lists. Maybe it’s the adult-onset ADD/bladder control problems.
I wonder if in your week’s docket of seriously serious shit that you need to broadcast, you might have a bit of spare bandwidth for the mention of the Superissimo Fastbiking Sexykitte 2013? We’re looking at a 1-week ordering window, so the time is turbo. If you feel the kittepromo saturation levels are high-water marque, then I’d understand taking a pass on the sitch;
Relatedly, if you’d like to purchase a sexybike machotop/pant combo, iI’d be more than happy (insistant, actually) about floating you the bro-code. Please let me know.
Also – how are your wrists? I rediscovered the cumulative damage that dual-rigid woods-ripping has done to mine. Fuck, they are not 22 anymore. Shit.
Hope all’s well in the land of oaks,
First of all, that is a damn fine looking kit indeed, and one that I think I will take the lad’s offer on assistance with. I’m sure the good folks who are reading these words right here are aware of the rule regarding white kits, saddles and bar tape, so I will only elaborate a little.
You see, where I come from, for one to don a white saddle or bar tape all willy nilly was a bit of an affront. They were medals to be award to to one’s self after many hours of solitary pain and quiet suffering while behind the steering wheel of a bikecycle. I myself finally made the leap after at least a dozen years of service aboard a speedcycle, and hundreds of thousands of miles. A white kit however, I’m still not sure I’ve earned.
But sometimes tradition should be bucked and rules, broken.
I just have to make sure my tan is always glowing. Winter skin and white lycra are an offense punishable by horribly mean facial expressions and merciless teasing.
And to answer his final query for anyone who cares, my wrists have stabilized, though I’m afraid my dreams of becoming a world class air drummer have been dashed;
And please, if you’ve never seen the above video, prepare to be entranced.
The fact that this clip has finally made its way onto the internet in its entirety is worthy of a celebratory drink, be it from a can, a shot glass or a sippy cup, because at AHTBM, one is as good as the next.