This just in! I have dirt in my hair!


Hey, so remember how the other day I was talking about the fact that Young Carl and I were gonna go campinging together, like, in the outsides and stuff?

Well, at the nine and a halfth hour I texted him and was all “I LOST MY SPACE BLANKET, BUT I JUST WENT AND BOUGHT A NEW ONE! I’M PSYCHED!” And he was all “SPACE BLANKETS ARE AWESOME. I’M PSYCHED TOO!

But then a little while later he came through with the sad news that he was called to a different sort of duty and could no longer partake in the campinging.

So I immediately called my two other friends, one of which was all, “I would, but I’m eating a hotdog right now” and the other one was all “I want to but my duties as a land baron won’t allow it on this particular eve.

So I did what any self respecting human being would do. I loaded my backpack and ginormous saddle bag up with a burrito, a sleeping pad, a light, and a snuggly jacket and I got the hell out of dodge.

I rode up a very long and very steep hill that’s a fast track to the dirt, and then I soft pedaled at a leisurely pace on trail, fire road, and doubletrack to my destination;
With just enough sunlight left to dry my sweaty clothing, I sat and listened to nothing aside from the thoughts in my head until it was time to hit the dirt.

After a reasonably relaxing night’s sleep, during which time nary a raccoon or mountain lion was tempted by my stuff (the cookies in my bag, or the meat on my body), I made haste in getting the possessions I so deftly exploded all over nature packed up so that I could partake in a quality dawn patrol before anyone else;
Clearly, it was horrible.

Not only that, but it was a productive morning as well, as I was inspired to launch my campaign against dog walkers who insist on leaving bags of dog crap all over the trail;
First it would involve spending a day cleaning up after these knuckleheads, in order to have a visual aide, which might look something like this;
Then, with a deftly applied message, it would look like this;
Garbage copy
Of course this means I’d have to spend the day actually walking the trails in order to fill the garbage bag to begin with, which would be no problem, but would inevitably leave me so enraged I wouldn’t have hands steady enough to actually make the flyer, but at least it’s a step in the forward direction which is a start.

Anyway, enough of that. Let’s get onto other topics in dire need of our attention.

From Cranpa of FBM I got a heads up notifying any and all that his weekend was most likely better than any of ours;


You like Red Fang?

We had a jam this weekend at the Lost Bowl In RVA, and made a little video of it if you would like to share it….

Hope all is well bud! Thanks! (I was bad this weekend.)

– cran

I replied by asking in what way he was bad. (Did he not finish his taxes? Did he neglect to feed his fish? Did he crank call the corner store asking them if their refrigerator was running?)

Naturally, it turns out it was a little bit more risqué than that.

Just when I think I have a pretty fun life, I stand in witness of Cranpa’s, and realize it’s not so much.

At least one thing I know I’ve done right with the last handful of days was partake in International Record Store Day, which I think happened last Sunday.

I scurried off to my most local and super awesome record store joint called 1-2-3-4 GO!;
As with every trip I make with the record store, I entered with a complete list of titles I was hankering for tucked within the confines of my swiss cheese brain, which immediately vaporized as soon as I entered, but after a bit of searching, I emerged with a stack of perfection;
I came to find out via a series of text exchanges with a friend in New York City that he’d found this particular Die Kreuzen re-release on line going for nearly $100.00.

I reflected back on signs posted below various releases in the record store limiting them to one per customer.

I’d never seen that before, and it was upon further reflection that I realized people were actually going into these independent businesses, swooping on stacks of limited edition records, then turning around and selling them for premium prices on the internet.

After my night out in the woods, I might have dirt in my hair, but as for the dopes who engage in this particular activity, that’s the kind of scunge that just can’t be washed off.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

20 Responses to “This just in! I have dirt in my hair!”

  1. shovelfoot April 23, 2014 at 6:54 am #

    See spot go, now pick it up.

  2. fupafreaky April 23, 2014 at 7:08 am #

    what kind of saddle bag is that?

  3. kimbrolio April 23, 2014 at 7:19 am #

    You can find that Sunny Day 7″ you mentioned on spacebooks the other day for the low, low price of 40ish buck on ebay right now. People suuuuuuck.

  4. DMC April 23, 2014 at 7:30 am #

    Never will understand picking shit up and then leaving the bag on the ground. Happens all the time around here.

  5. Bob Croslin April 23, 2014 at 7:50 am #

    I’d be happy to fly out to go camping with you provided there is copious amounts of spooning involved.

  6. STOOPZOOMZ April 23, 2014 at 8:08 am #




  7. trama April 23, 2014 at 8:44 am #

    Mentioning dog poop is sure to get you a record amount of comments.

    Those pics are awesome. The east bay is so nice!

  8. Boise Dingo April 23, 2014 at 10:30 am #

    One time, riding in a land far, far away (Yeah Boise!), I encountered a young lady leaving a bag on the side of the trail. I asked her, “Are you planning on taking that poo bag with you?” She replied, “I don’t need to, it’s biodegradable.” Sigh…

  9. Double D All-Time April 23, 2014 at 11:34 am #

    I’m an opinionated little feller, so I’ll just go ahead and type it: when it comes to bowls and cement obstacles, skateboarding looks so much better than the BMX does.

  10. Loren April 23, 2014 at 3:33 pm #

    There’s dog people, then there’s shit bags. Shit bags make dog people look bad.

  11. knuckler April 23, 2014 at 6:40 pm #

    Campinging is the best. Especially when you get dirt in your hair and it turns into a block dred…

  12. sergio huerta April 23, 2014 at 7:34 pm #

    The Dicks are the first band I ever saw live. In front of the 84 Democratic convention S.F. It was awesome, miss that band…I still think your anti dog crap bag is a little too nice, but something slightly harsher is in order, if you ask me…just my too sense.

  13. Brad April 24, 2014 at 4:47 am #

    Die Kreuzen are fantastic. An old friend of mine played in a band that was on the Die Kreuzen tribute album. He introduced me to their music in 1988. Century Days had just come out, so I was late to the party. Considering I lived IN Wisconsin, I was very late to the party.

    It is criminal how few of the people I know really dig on the Whigs as much as I do. They are a perfect combination of musicianship, lyrics, guitar wankery, and heartfelt pain (or, just plain truth).

    On a side note, I have been savoring the latest issue of your zine over the past 3 days. I am so glad people still create tangible things. It is very inspiring to want to create something. Even if I have no talent, the output sucks, and no one sees it. Not saying that is the case with you. I enjoy the shit out of your stuff. Thanks a lot!

  14. Matty D April 24, 2014 at 10:05 am #

    At least they’re bagging it.
    Some people bag a dookie on the way out and pick it up on the way back. Should be hidden though. And believe it or not some dog people also bag shit left by other dogs. They might not take it with them but at least it helps other people avoid stepping in it or riding through it. Just like bike riders, there a good dog owners, total jerks, and everything in between.
    Anyway, nice work on the solo camping mission.

  15. scooper April 24, 2014 at 3:18 pm #

    There’s no poop fairy?! Waaaaaaaah aaaaaaah!!!

  16. Monroadie April 24, 2014 at 10:11 pm #

    The Afghan Whigs show at Slim’s was cool.

  17. Fdub April 25, 2014 at 6:56 am #

    So, as a dog owner, is it bad if I bag my dog’s shit and then throw it in the trash? Is the problem that dog owners put something that essentially biodegradable into something that’s going to encapsulate it forever?
    I’ve always thought it funny that in two million years, someone is going to do an archaelogical dig on one of our dump sites the way we explore burial mounds and midden piles, and find these treasures of canine feces. Maybe they’ll think we celebrated our dogs’ shits with ceremonies.

    But yeah, the little blue bag on the side of the trail? wtf, if youre going to let your dog shit there, pack it out or bury it.

    • Stevil April 25, 2014 at 9:12 am #

      Sure, it’s biodegradable, but it’s full of bacteria that tends to cause all kinds of havoc when introduced into a natural environment. However I realize my point is relatively moot given the fact that roads are paved and industry continually spews toxins into the environment that are contaminating it forever. The bottom line is that I think it’s lame, and I can at least try to effect some change making a trail look like a trail and not a dog walker’s dumping ground.