Just getting over the hump.

First things first- For those who might have missed Monday’s post, I will link it again here, and will most likely continue to do so until our goal is realized.

Go ahead and click the thing.

I’m happy to wait.

Did you get the meat of that matter? It’s ok if you didn’t, because I will continue to beat this proverbial drum until it’s nothing but a pile of splinters on the ground.

The long and the short of it I’m attempting to nickel and dime anybody and everybody who might feel so inclined to throw a bit of cash into the pot so that next year we can have the loudest and most bananas Underbike on record;

Photo courtesy of Deathwish Inc.

Photo courtesy of Deathwish Inc.

Definitely I realize that no one owes me anything, and moreover, that people have their own expenses that are most likely far more important than some dumb party. The last thing I’d want is to put anyone out, so launching this angle most definitely has left me feeling conflicted. The bottom line is simply that I can’t move this event to the next level without additional assistance.

As I said, until we get closer to the goal, I will be a broken record, so allow me to take this time to apologize in advance, and humbly thank those who have contributed thus far.

It certainly won’t be the last time I do, either.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get onto other matters.

Thanks to the internet I came across this diatribe by a mechanic in Chicago named Luis, that I will share with you now;

I Had this gem come in a few days ago. Dude said he couldn’t get the internal wiring to cooperate, so he did this. Then said he was just gonna fill the holes in with resin. I promptly told him its dead and he should not use it. He said he’s an “engineer”. It’ll be fine;
I said good luck and told him if he ever walked in here with it built I’d kick him out. I hate people.

There aren’t a lot of things I miss about wrenching in shops. I do miss the hi-jinx, ‘Metal Mondays’, getting the chance to occasionally bring customers into the service area to teach them how to fix a flat, and seeing how stoked people were when they realized how badass riding bikes is, but things like this? Things like this I don’t miss.

You see this fellow here?;
His name is Greg Chalberg, and though you maybe have never heard of him, he is for all intents and purposes, the bicycle mechanics’ patron saint.

He was on the road with Shimano before NORBA had even reached its zenith, and taught people like Chris DiStefano and Jeff Holt the ropes. One directive that he imparted upon Jeff, and Jeff in turn then imparted upon me was simply this-

Your life will become much easier when you finally just learn to tell people to beat it.

And as I learned from Chalberg, when toiling between a workstand and a bench, I relished being in the fortunate position to periodically tell people to do just that.

After all, if the fellow with the holes all over his bike were to bring it into your shop, and you even so much as laid a wrench on it, you and the shop could potentially be liable upon the bike’s eventual failure.

Occasionally people brought in such magnificent piles of garbage, that no amount of elbow grease, expertise, and additional parts would make them suck less, or for that matter, be any safer.

It’s doubtful that I’ll ever work in a shop again, because frankly, at this point something as simple as current bottom bracket ‘standards’ is utterly confounding to me, but I will always cherish the days when I would channel old Chalberg, and periodically tell customers to take a hike.

Moving on from the kinda unbelievable (‘engineers’ drilling multiple holes in their frame), to the literally unbelievable, most of everyone have peeped the new Danny MacAskill clip?

If not, you should.

I can’t relate to a single thing that bloke does.

He really is among the very the greatest.

In closing we’ll dip into the mail bag with a correspondence from Matt regarding caps, vans, and other shenanigans;


The pack is in need of beer money for sscxwcxpdx. So we are opening up the side doors and inviting you into the wolf wagon for a real treat;
Limited runs of cycling caps and t-shirts are up for your purchasing pleasure. Buy a cap feed a Manwolfscx. Hand made by surly ex bike messenger atomiccyclewerks located in the dreary PNW. You may not have the brain cells left to remember our feats of strength if you survived them from SSCXWCKY14. So keep the fire alive and and our livers full. One gear to rule them all because we don’t give a shift.

We even set up a fancy online store so we don’t have to pass these off to you under a bridge.

The ladies in PDX love these.

Matt graciously handed one of these over to Sally who in turn slid it to me in Las Vegas a few weeks ago in the event that I’ll be too broke to make it to Portland in December, which will most likely be the case.

I then in turn let Chlöie have some time with it, because I am a kind and generous boss;
If one of these strikes your fancy, take a trip to the Manwolf store.

I suppose at this juncture, I’d be remiss to not also mention that I myself have a small assortment of Chuey Brand caps left in stock of both the KVLT and crest styles;
As well as some KVLT winter caps, should any of those strike your fancy.

Guaranteed, no matter what you choose, and at the end of the day, it’ll beat the nose of a saddle jamming into the small of your back.

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Leave a Reply

6 Responses to “Just getting over the hump.”

  1. andypants October 12, 2016 at 6:38 am #

    That’s some next level drillium.

  2. Caroline October 12, 2016 at 9:57 am #

    At first I thought that mannequin was wearing a G string on her face.

  3. Scooper October 12, 2016 at 8:31 pm #

    GC taught me all there is to know of Orange and Orange county. Him and Klaus. Miss them.

  4. Smitty October 13, 2016 at 8:40 am #

    He’s an ‘engineer’.
    What does operating a train have to do with working on bikes?

    • Marc October 14, 2016 at 1:21 am #


  5. Andy G. October 13, 2016 at 9:17 am #

    We got a dick and balls, bottom left holes.