I just come here for the snacks.

That being said, unbutton your pants, roll up your sleeves, and get ready to dig in.

First up- Some time ago Jim from Vecchios in Boulder (where they take cyclocross, puffy jackets, Subaru Foresters, and documenting rainbows seriously) came through with a request to doctor up an image of a dream bike. Because he was offering me zero compensation for my time, I did his bidding;

I just now realized that I put the fork dropouts just south and forward of the Aerospoke axle.

I guess Jim got what he paid for.

And while we’re on the topic of doctoring imagery simply for the sake of rabble-rousing, I’d now like to include a link featuring one of my all time favorite mediums, being that of altered billboards;

I had some friends who did this in the early 90s, and at the time I was interested at trying my hand at it.

One in particular that I had my eye on was high above the intersection of 51st and Shattuck here in Oakland.

It depicted a pile of rugby players with the tagline ‘Australian For Male Bonding‘;

My plan was to alter it to something considerably more offensive, but so as to not make light of date rape, I will forgo any further explanation.

Needless to say, I never did it, and it stands as one of many partial and vague regrets.

Though the felony vandalism charges that would assuredly have followed I’m fine to have lived without.

In news of branded product, it was just a month ago when I finally released the newest, and in my opinion brightest jewel in the AHTBM product crown;

This right here of course is the Fall Guy Stunt Association quilted satin tribute jacket.

If by chance you’d like one, if you place an order any time between now and Sunday the 15th of January, you can receive yours in two weeks.

And though it potentially doesn’t need to be said, but I’ve been wearing mine on the regular and it’s nothing short of being embraced by Colt, Howie, and Jody themselves;

Now, moving on my own questionable fashion choices and me (a pretend stuntman) to a real, live, in-the-flesh one, I’ve come across this video of a chap named Stacy Kohut doing what he does best;
Way back in the late ’90s, I spent a season with Stacy when I worked on the NORBA circuit, and even got to take his highly engineered chair out on a little spin. The guy is all time, and I was thrilled (not to mentioned humbled) to see that he’s still absolutely killing it.

In conclusion I will say that instead of working diligently on the completion of this post I adjourned to the bar to meet Ryan and Melissa, who have traveled to the Bay Area from their home in Cordova, Alaska, and upon my arrival presented me with a mason jar of this;

Which for those who can’t quite make out the fine print is a tequila infused by the dick of a mountain goat, a moose, a deer, and a brown bear;

Thereby confirming that people from the payback woods of Alaska batshit crazy;

Perhaps not crazy enough to partake in a Cthurkey, but then again, after beholding the dick liquor, I wouldn’t put it past them.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

5 Responses to “I just come here for the snacks.”

  1. Ryan January 13, 2017 at 9:58 am #

    Since we don’t have turkeys in Cordova but do have plenty of other birds- we may have to work on cooking up a Cthoose for winter solstice next year. Clear your schedule and bring an extra pair of pants.

  2. Scott January 13, 2017 at 1:19 pm #

    The Slingshot bike looks like Steffan Long’s old rig.

  3. whocares January 13, 2017 at 5:35 pm #

    That dream bike needs an adjustable stem.
    They’re awesome.
    And slam it.

  4. Mike P January 13, 2017 at 6:53 pm #

    Sling shit bike

  5. Alex January 15, 2017 at 3:48 am #

    Do you know how much Fernet it takes to change a lightbulb? oh that’s a SlingShot.
    Is that…oh….Really? Is that Western as Fuck in a bottle?!