Namaste, goon squad.
I have to say- if ever I’ve felt supported by this community we’ve amassed, it’s been these last few weeks, and especially, the last few days. When I needed the wagons circled, people stepped up with ferocity.
To say I’m profoundly humbled/forever grateful would be the understatement to end them all.
The commitment that people have shown this site, our community, and to me during this time of utter fuckery has proven to me that what we have here is a truly unique and special thing, and honestly, if I could give each of you who have shown me such indescribable kindness in the face of it all my very best hug, I would.
Consider this a standing I.O.U to each of you, should we cross paths today, tomorrow, or ever at some point in the future. I’m good for it, and it’s the least I can offer.
From the bottom of my heart, your words of kindness, understanding and support kept me from fully going upside down into a dark place, and I can’t thank you all enough.
I can’t help but think that 2015 (blown out knee, followed by severe laceration, followed by Cellulitis, followed by shingles), and now 2018 (all of February) is the universe slapping me on the hand and offering me a wake up call. To what end, I’m not entirely sure. Deep down in the pit of my soul I get the sense that it has something to do with the degree that I give myself to others, and harbor an almost astonishing amount of guilt in regard to doing for myself. I see it in my father, and I see it in me.
Some time ago, I was having dinner with some friends and they were discussing an assortment of trips they’d taken with each other to far away, and idilic locations. At some point, someone asked me why I’ve never been on one of these trips with them, and without thinking, I sheepishly shot back, “I don’t deserve vacations“. I’ve reflected on that almost daily since, and wondered where such a response would come from.
True, I went to Maui in October, but my parents paid for the trip as an anniversary present, and gave the money to my wife because they knew I’d spend it on bills. For at least the first two days on the island, I had guilt about the excessiveness of the trip, despite the fact that I was there to celebrate the 50th birthdays of two dear and long time friends. I eventually settled into a rhythm and had an incredibly relaxing time, because you’d have to be a dick not to, but still, the act of taking care of myself was an entirely foreign one to me, and a thing I still wrestle with on the regular.
So I’m left wondering where this comes from, and why I’ve ended up in a rut of self flagellation and neglect.
Back to the universe’s potential lessons, and all of this being said- I feel like it might be telling me to spend a little less time shouldering the world’s weight, and a little more time being good to myself.
Maybe I’m missing the mark entirely, but I’m listening to what She’s saying with laser focus, and assuming I end up getting the full picture, I plan on applying it with honor and intent.
Having said all of this, it’s time for me to shoulder someone else’s burden, being that of Will The Tiny Viking. (I swear he’s called himself that at some point, or perhaps I’m having a full blown geriatric moment.)
He came at us with new regarding a new kit he’s dropping, and for those who consider Sleep’s Dopesmoker a lullaby, it might be right up your alley;
I’d like to take this opportunity to unofficially officially announce the launch of my newest sendeavor: Hesher (sendeavor sounded way better in my head). It’s basically a natural progression of the team formerly known as Scum City. The team is small, consisting of myself and six other people. We are a mix of veteran and beginner racers based out of Minneapolis, USA. In the past the teams I’ve been in or helped organize have been solely cyclocross racing but since living in Minnesota I’ve grown quite fond of mountain biking. Like, basically it’s all I want to do now (okay maybe pinball sometimes).
Anyway… This year everyone will be focusing mainly on the Minnesota Mountain Bike Series as well as the Lake Superior Gravity Series.
The MNMTBS consists of Cross Country races and while the LSGS has basically everything, those of us who go will be Enduroing. Our friends at Northern Rose Bicycles will be our sole sponsor, so I am doing a pre-order to hopefully raise a little bit of funds for the team. I know this isn’t the NASCAR type kit we talked about but I promise you one day it will be real…
As for the “missing art” on the back, my good friend Nate Kemr did the artwork we are still in the design process but I assure you it will be something like this:
The pre-ordering can be done here and I will have it open until the 9th of March. After that it should take about 6 weeks or so for the order to be fulfilled. As per usual all items are being made here in Minnesota by Podiumwear.
P.s. You can follow us on Instagram @hesher_dirt_collective
I hope things are looking up for you after the last few weeks.
Did you get all of that? If you like to wear your hesh on both your outside as well as your inside, then do what you gotta and get on the pre-order.
And speaking of pre-orders, (or really, orders of any kind), my store is still open, and still has an assortment of items for sale, not the least of which is the wool jersey pre-order, which time is about to run out on;
Help me help you.
Finally, in closing I would like to take the opportunity to wish a very happy birthday today, to this cat;
That of course is none other than the impresario of all things Minneapolis Mafia, Mr. Eugene Paul Oberpriller.
He is the sun to my moon, the sea to my sky, and the murky water to my bong;
Here is to one more trip around the sun, my beloved friend.
If we were to add ranks and names, he would most certainly be the Commander in Chief to this, our ever healthy squad of goons.
you can certainly self-flagellate with the best of them. xoxoxo
I love it when a plan comes together..
When ever I catch a passing glimpse of Circulus, I shit my pants just a little.
I know the feeling(s) of not deserving.
I often find myself saying to myself that I don’t deserve things that maybe I do. Like a vacation.
*There was more to this comment but it was too heavy and depressing for a lunch break.
If you’re kind to yourself, it will be easier to care for others, which you do so well. And, yes, you are indeed your father’s son!
I read “Self-Flatulate” the first time…
“the sun to my moon, the sea to my sky, and the murky water to my bong”…
You, good sir, are these things to all of US. We love you man, thanx for keepin’ on.