“You’re a flaky ass flake.”

This is what I would tell myself if I was standing in front of myself.

Photo by Terry Richardson.
I would probably also tell myself that gold fronts do nothing for me, but that’s another topic for another day.
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Words to live by.

“If we had some eggs we could have some bacon and eggs if we had some bacon.”

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Two people can keep a secret when one of them is dead.

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Today’s like tomorrow if it were yesterday.

I realize on Wednesday I mentioned I wouldn’t be here today, but that’s kinda what happens when you never know what day it is.

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I lied.

The other day I was all “one more post of random garbage!” and then everybody was all “sweet!“, but then today I’m all “just kidding!” and everybody’s all “zzzzzzzzz!“
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More of the same, but different.

Except positively less creepy than existing in the world with someone who looks identical to you.

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Playing ketchup.

With the past week well in the rear view mirror, I look towards the recent past contained within the disaster of my inbox. So as to not waste any valuable time with my amazing word play, let’s get down to brass tacks.

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